If You Give Irene An Empanada......

There is a kids story called, "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie"....in short the story is about a mouse that gets a cookie and then he'll need some milk, and then he'll ask for a straw and yada yada yada (if you are that intrigued, go to this elementary schools powerpoint presentation and get your jollies).

This story is called "If You Give Irene An Empanada". Before we get started, let me introduce you to Irene----->

I have known Irene for about 5 years or so now. I work with her, I play with her, she is a great person and truly cares about the kids at our school..but most importantly, Irene likes to have a good time.....sound familiar? Remember the simulated pole dancing I did? I was not alone, folks......Yup, you guessed it, my friend Irene was part of those festivities as well.

Well, this is not about pole dancing, or drinking, -ok maybe a bit about drinking-but no dancing!!! Its about Irene's year long request to come to her house, see her new interior decor and of course---make empanadas. As much as I wanted to do all these things, life got in the way and the great opportunity came up during this 2 week winter break from school. Today was the day--hooray, I say, empanadas are on the way...shit, that sounds like Dr. Seuss...

To make the day extra special, Irene had a good friend of hers over- Gabi- from Israel. She is a lovely woman and I hope to spend more time with her in the future. And last but not least, Marian, my team teacher, friend and Irenes good friend as well, was in the house. All the makings for a day of trouble....... Gabi-->

Now for some background knowledge ( its the teacher in me): What the heck are empanadas and why does Irene love em?

Empanadas are kind of like turnovers filled with whatever you like. In our case, what we like is seasoned meat lovingly folded into a flaky circle of dough and then sealed and baked in an oven til they look
like this--> If the description does not sell you on these babies, then one bite and then another and then another until you wonder, "How many have I eaten?

This is exactly what happens...Irene starts reminiscing about the Empanadas her Argentinean friend Irene's mom used to make and then I get the idea to make some for her and then we get the idea to make them at school and then it becomes, lets have the students make them and sell them to support our program and they are a success, but then Irene says I want some for home and there is never enough for her.......sooooo......Annette, lets make empanadas at MY house!!!! See how it starts?

So I came over, got the grand tour, loved what she had done with her place (it really reflects Irene-but then you GOTTA know her to know what Im talking about) and on to the important stuff---wine and uh, uh...oh yeah empanadas!!!

We cut chopped, stirred,sauced, tasted, threw in the all important "monkey dust" and presto change-o we were ready for the all important assembly part. Veeerrry important.... Necessitates MORE wine and conversation to make it taste good. The more gossip, dirt and girly advice the better....Irene and Marian drank and talked to us and Gabi and I stuffed and pressed the edges of the empanadas...oh...and we drank and talked as well, just probably not as much... :)

Then they go in the oven....vvveeerrryyy important...25 more minutes of talking and drinking...no one wants to watch the oven...the empanadas wont taste as good if you hover over them. Finally, the bell rings...empanadas are done!!!! Dont rush, pull them outta the oven and let them sit and cool---or-you guessed it...they wont taste as good. Hey, have you done this before?!?!?

Time to eat.....everyone takes one or two...at first...the are so easy to eat...warm and flaky....no one is pointing fingers, but now...there is not talking or drinking...cuz if you do----They wont taste as good!!!!!!!!!

Empanada recipe is offered to those that would like to experience this delicious and severely addicting comfort food. The dough can be bought premade, very inexpensively and the wine is not a requirement, but the friends are......Enjoy.....

Feliz Ano Nuevo!!!! Happy New Year

And its about time too...2007 was about to kill me. New Year and New Luck--not that Im superstitious or anything, but I did throw a basin of water out the front door and ate 12 grapes at midnight as dictated in the Cubanaso handbook.

Having 12 grapes one for each month of the year in the New Years Eve night is customary to the Cuban people. This is also said to shower good luck and blessings to the household. Another unique New Year tradition popular among the Cuban people is to dress up and walk around the house on New Years Day carrying an empty suitcase. This believed to usher in frequent travels and tours in the ensuing year.

There is a family tradition to open both the front door and the back door at midnight of New Years Eve. The Back Door is left opened to Let out the Old Year and the Front Door is opened to welcome the New Year bringing good luck and cheer to the whole family.

Hey, pretty strange goings on in a Cuban household, but i wouldn't have it any other way!!!!

I went out last night to meet some friends at a local dive not far from home. I get so paranoid about drunks on New Years Eve that I left the house at 11:30 and returned home at 12:30. Enough time to get a buzz, drink cheap champagne and kiss complete strangers at midnight. (And some people have the nerve to say that I dont know how to have a good time :/ )

Prosper Ano Nuevo, y'all

The End of Another Stellar Year...

Well this about sums it up, doesn't it? I don't think this is what mom meant when she reminded you to wear your hat and scarf as you left. In this case, Im sure it saved him from complete humiliation. How would you like to see THAT when the office party pics come out...yeah, not laughing now are you?

Im sure that my pole dancing exploits at a local Duffys during our office Christmas party has been preserved for posterity if not blackmail on some nice co-workers camera. Too many Dirty Martinis, I guess. That'll teach me :)

Fortunately, I did not have as much Christmas cheer as the Super Sauced Santa above, and good thing, cuz i was notwearing a hat...just a set of candy cane reindeer antlers perched pretty precariously on my melon. I could not disguise a thing in those babies..... Now if I can just get through New Years....have a safe and sane New Years celebration.....and dont end up on the front page of the paper OR in the obits, ok?

If Only Life Could Be Like My Car....

I am the proud owner of a 1986 Mustang convertible. i like it, i like driving it, (i especially like not making car payments), and I suppose that all things being equal, anytime it needs a repair i justify it by calculating how many car payments that would have been....hmmmm..

However, today my car did something i wish I could do. It would only stand still (park) or idle (neutral) or go into drive, overdrive(D, D1 and D2 respectively) but it would not reverse. Not a bad thing philosophically speaking.

So, upon realizing that I would again have to face making car repairs (and perhaps expensive ones), I did go in reverse. I immediately decided that it was time for a drink. Now, you must be thinking that im a complete wuss and that something like a car repair will send me running for the bottle, but this is not so folks; I have faced and endured many a trial in my almost 50 years and to my credit, I still see the good in things as opposed to the bad.

To the folks that don't know me, alcohol was always my first defense to deal with problems, people and later social anxiety, so for me to want a drink today was definitely to go in "reverse". But, its not that bad- i still count my blessings every day.... I think today was just the culmination of a "series of unfortunate events" including my dad having a stroke that made the thought of a stiff drink---THE thing I wanted at that moment. So I did....and I felt better. So much better that when my friend Joe called and suggested we go to Friendly's for dinner, I smiled because I knew that at the end of dinner, my day would have a "Happy Ending".

Is Friendly's Being OVERLY Friendly?

Last Wednesday a friend phoned me and asked if I'd like to have dinner. I dont't normally go out to dinner on a weeknight, but what the hell. He suggested Friendly's which he thought had JUST opened up by us. We toodle on over there and we see lots of people inside, so we think its open for business...well, they were not. They were training and while there HAVE been instances of restaurants serving you so that their staff can practice, these folks were not doing it. The manager explained that they would be open the day after Christmas and placed coupon books in our hands as an enticement to return at that time.

As we meandered back to the car, wondering; "Now where do we go to eat?", I flip through the coupon book and about choke laughing. The first coupon is for a "Happy Ending Size Sundae"....WOOOHOO. I immediately went back and asked for more coupon books for my extended family and went home to place them in every male friends Christmas card. Nope, no need to thank me...I think everyone should have a Happy Ending, I just have a hard time envisioning Friendly's giving me one. But hey, its almost 2008, and I AM a modern type gal.

Before we left, the manager was coming out to have a cigarette and I asked him about that wording. He seemed perplexed that it would be a concern...perhaps he was just playing dumb. Can you imagine how many men would love to go to dinner with their families and then ,when done, quite comfortably ask for a "Happy Ending"?

Love it!!!!

I'd Like My Martini Extra Dirty, Please.....

Until now, the only thing I had to worry about was that I DID get olives in my Martini. It turns out that I also have to decide whether my olives are 'placed' or 'thrown." PLACED? THROWN? What the hell does that mean and why is it interfering with one of the last socially acceptable pre-dinner activities of the modern world?

I searched high and low for an answer, but to no avail. I also could not find a picture of a jar of placed or thrown olives. Just take my word for it--they exist. Go to a grocery store and go to the olive section. The spanish olives (green with the pimento, for example) are in jars and are labeled either thrown or placed.

Finally, I asked an olive expert(also known as a buyer) from the deepest darkest caverns of the Publix Distribution Headquarters in Lakeland, Florida. Are you ready for what that means? Get ready...this is going to be very difficult to understand:

**Placed olives are "placed" in the jar by hand, so they face out and look pretty. PRETTY!!!!
**Thrown olives are "thrown" in the jar or more likely machine packed.

Placed or thrown? Look at the jar...if you can tell the difference, you are a better person than I--or even Martha Stewart, I bet.......
As for me? After the second Martini, I couldn't care less where they "place" me OR "throw" me.

PLACED VS THROWN--> Now you HAVE a choice

Get Your Balls Out of Your Wife's Purse-Part II

Okay, I felt significantly better after that last post. I could regale you with other examples of supreme stupidity on this couples part, but why spend the energy? Well, okay....maybe one more instance of inequality in the treatment of ones children....

Back when my son was in middle school, my ex-husband approached my with the idea of getting my son braces (he did not need them accoeding to his dentist), the pitch was that I would pay for half. T understand the stupidity of this idea, let me lay some groundwork. The husband is a police officer over 10 years, the wife is a school teacher. I am the sole supporter of my family, working full time and going to school full time to BECOME a teacher. You follow me? When I explained that not only did Patrick not need braces, I could not afford to pay for them and in addition there was a little detail they had forgotten: Dad was responsible for health and dentist care.....Instead, what I got was a dissertation on what an awful mother I was, yada yada yada ad nauseaum.....



Well, he did not get braces....I didn't fall into their guilt trap and everyone turned out just fine.....

I think my son has gotten over it and even threwa party at their house for his spearfishing club. Its the least they could do for being such idiots........

In my next life, Im going to have that asshole magnet removed from my forehead....

Get Your Balls Out of Your Wife's Purse - Part I

<--The Ex's Wife




That's right folks, I said it...and If I need to, I will say it to him: the ex-husband...the father of my son...

I have never wanted to go back in time and I have not regretted much about my life, especially since other than grow and be a better person, there is nothing I can do to change the past. Everyone makes mistakes and I have made more than my share. My children are the best thing in my life. They are kind, compassionate, caring, creative and strive to do the right thing

My son who is 25, and a good person...who has more care and compassion for other people in his little pinkie than his father has in his whole body, deserves better treatment. He is being treated like a red-headed stepchild (well, I guess he is- to the wicked step-monster). My ex-husband has 2 more children with his wife (in fact thats the reason we divorced- but thats another rant) and although I have made every effort over his lifetime to live close by (usually about 1 mile away and yikes-sometimes closer) so he could spend time with his Dad, as they all got older, it is painfully obvious to my son that he does not share in the same financial perks that his half brother and sister do. However, he is expected to spend Fathers day and Mothers Day, Thanksgiving and other family times whenever its called for over there. In the name of peace and harmony, I have always acquiesced and have not made a big deal over it, even though the reality is that I have always been the one to help him out of jams, listen to him, advise him and generally support him in his endeavors.

Perhaps I am personalizing this because i made sacrifices to smooth the way for him and it was for naught. he is feeling the disparity, I am feeling cheated again. I feel like telling my son to forget about them and just stay away, but it wouldn't be right. I would be telling him what I would do---and how well has that really served me? I want to let him know that Im proud of him for doing the right thing, hustling to make ends meet and making his way in the world even though other people are dicks.

Lets take a break for a moment for some levity before I become emotional and lose sight of the message here:


Some Holiday Gift Suggestions for the Ex's New Wife

A pendant and matching earrings

OR--For the rugged "you wont be needed THOSE anymore" kinda gal....perhaps a truck accessory would be more appropriate.....

in any case..there's a plethora of appropriate gifts this season---and dont forget: "They're Fun For the Whole Family"!

Hmmm, well, I feel alot better, but I need to get to sleep. Blogging and that shot of liquid courage helped me, but you know the problem will still be there in the morning---so look for Part II- The Case of the Braces Budget

Night Night....

Thanksgiving Leftovers

This week marked the beginning of the holiday craziness. Notice, I did not even mention Black Friday(I'm not crazy about that name). I did notice that in some stores, the Halloween, Thanksgiving AND Christmas stuff was on display simultaneously. This does not work well for me as a person who depends on store displays to remind her what season and holiday is currently occurring. I saw Christmas stuff in October and panicked...shit, where the hell did time go? I have not prepared (which by the way, apparently is my mantra) and again, thought I got caught with my pants down.

The nicest thing about the After-Thanksgiving school break is that the kids at my school have had ( and will continue to have until Dec 7th) the incredible opportunity to meet and work with a gentleman who in terms of a disability defies the odds and truly has inspired them to greatness. He is Sidiki Conde from Guinea, 46 years old and was struck by polio at the age of 14, rendering his legs useless. Instead of succumbing to the disability, he intensified his efforts to meet and surpass his own expectations. He performs with a group dancing, drumming and singing. He is amazing to watch and truly has the heart and patience I aspire to. I took some video of he and the kids during their rehearsal yesterday. They have been rehearsing this week and will continue next week in preparation for a Holiday Showcase at the Duncan Theatre on the Palm Beach Community college Campus, Saturday December 8th. Here is a video clip of their afternoon yesterday (look for more in the future!) and an audio clip of one of Sidiki's songs to his mother

Missing In Action

It has been a busy 2 months. This blog has been on my mind, but due to about a dozen unforeseen circumstances (when it rains it pours), I have been pretty exhausted. This evening will mark the return of moi to regular online posting. Expect to see some emotional family stuff, some mea culpa's I never thought I would even ponder, more man stuff (adventures in dating is what I prefer to call it) and some exciting prospects coming up in my quest to get published.