Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Re: Mariah's Reaction to " Ken Lee"

Before I start...I have to tell you that I did NOT know that Mariah Carey was my son's favorite singer....AND, you would need to know that my son is 25 and since the age of 13, his "favorite " singers have been rap and hip hop performers. Therefore, I have been schooled on this bit of PatrickHistory.

So...the only thing I have to say is that...Mariah Carey is a Class Act (Notice she did not have a CLUE what was being said, but who cares? her hair looked FABULOUS!!)....
Her comments on this individual that was performing a song in her style was supportive and indicative of her expansive nature...Bravo Mariah!!!!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

A Town Exclusively for Postal Workers....Im Scared

In yesterdays local newspaper, The Palm Beach Post, there was an article about a town in Florida, called Nalcrest. The name comes from NALC-rest : National Association of Letter Carriers-rest. How very apropos, no?
Here is my concern: Considering the history (deserved or not) of mail delivery persons "losing it" or "going postal" if you will, the thought of them all being together in one town strikes me as either being very smart or very stupid. I know I'm going to get some hate mail for this, but that's okay...I'm fearless when things strike me as funny.
From a mental health perspective the towns inhabitants may be calmer (of course they are retired) after years of meeting the USPS credo of, "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night, stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds", they no longer need to worry about snow-okay, 1 out of 4 ain't exactly good odds, but this is Florida. They can empathize with each other, de-escalate feelings of agitation, tell jokes and stories about their old route customers, the opportunities for cameraderie overfloweth.
But, since I like to play devils advocate most of my waking hours, the chance of someone going over the deep end, also exists. The mild mannered letter carrier next door could snap his rubber band and take out the whole town.
And while Im on the subject, I didn't notice if this town has a movie theater, but if they did, I have a list of movies that would be relevant:
The Postman (1997) with Kevin Costner
Il Postino (1994) Foreign
Postman Pat Comedy
The Postman Always Rings Twice (1981) with Jack Nicholson

** The Barefoot Mailman is a real story!!! and its pretty good reading

You get the point, lots of choices to bond over and just as many to shoot your neighbor over...In that case, would that open up the rental market at this very exclusive zip code up to a new industry of retired workers? Perhaps-- Dentists!!!! Dentists have a high rate of suicide.....Perfect!!! They will only off themselves and not others!!!
Excuse me while I get my bullet proof vest on.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Big Dreams.....Get Yourself on the New York Times Bestseller List

Who doesn't want the recognition? Everytime you sit down to post to your blog, you do it with the expectation that people want to hear what you want to say.... You check those stats, make it entertaining as well as informative, you keep the "junk" down to a minimum, and read and post comments others blogs in the hope that they will return the favor.
How do you know you have made it? That what you have to say matters? When you see your name attached to a book you have written, and its listed on the New York Times bestseller list.
I have an idea for a book-perhaps more academic that recreational reading, but I can guarantee that its a NECESSARY book. I know this because I teach Life Skills to teenagers and I can tell you that the 3 R's of learnng are important, but man, if you cannot cook, budget money, wash clothes, interview for work, use public transportation, etc. you are very umprepared to live life as an independent citizen.
So, I have this idea and even have a few catchy titles I'm considering, but where to start? What do I need to know? How will people know I have written a book? Do I need a publisher? These and more urgent questions and answers to them can be found in John Kremer's How to Create a New York Times or Bestseller . Even if you don't plan on publishing something soon, this tool is invaluable in preparing you for this momentous occasion. Here is what John Kremer has to say...

“The New York Times bestseller list is essentially a work of fiction.” says John Kremer, author of 1001 Ways to Market Your Books. “As a result, it can be — and is — manipulated by those who know how the list is compiled. Publishers do it all the time. Now, even an unknown author can use the same techniques to propel his or her book to the top of the bestseller list.”

This authors website is full of useful information you can use right now, once you visit it, I'm sure you will be convinced of his expertise and find yourself returning to him time and time again for inspiration.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Presenting "Ken Lee"--No relation to Bruce Lee.....

Now...a GREAT reason not to avoid watching American Idol. I used to stop at the auditions, thinking that was the best entertainment. Apparently other countries renditions of American Idol are as funny if not more.....I won't put any more on here, because I think this is a good example of a "buffalaxed" american song.....

Friday, April 4, 2008

Kate and Annette...2 Real Pissers...No...REALLY...Im serious....

Hey there faithful readers and even you one-night-standers (and you know who you are ...). Today was the day before the beginning of our spring break ( and man do we NEED it).
The policy at our school is that we dress professionally, eschewing blue jeans in favor of more business casual attire. Reasonable, right? I think so...and so do the other staff members.

But not Kate...she wears her jeans most days...but in the interest of fair play, I have to tell you that she is our Certified Behavior Analyst and in keeping with her duties, she may be wrestling kids around some days, thus her practical choice in clothing.

Well, on Thursday, someone asked one of the administrators whether they could wear jeans on Friday. the response was that we could have if Kate had not worn her jeans on Thursday. But he would be willing to make a deal. Staff members could wear jeans on Friday ONLY if Kate wore a dress on Friday.

Well, I know Kate is a good sport, but I don't know how many other times she may be willing to wear a skirt, so I had to take a picture.....If she gets mad, I'll remove it...maybe...or not. Probably not.

About the pissers part ( I have to explain it). One of the MANY things that we have in common is that we are MOTHERS. Unfortunately, we also both have weak bladders....see where I'm going with this? Although we are both very busy, we do find time to hang out in the hallways and chat every once in awhile. In conversation we will inadvertently start talking about funny things, situations, people, administrators,,,NO , NOT administrators, and we will both end up doubled over. Not so much in laughter anymore as in trying not to pee in our pants. We actually spent a training session avoiding this. It didn't work.....

She is very good at what she does and I am very lucky to have her as a friend. Now if we only had time to attend Kegel Exercise sessions together...wait, no..maybe separately. Together would be counter-productive for us AND all the other participants.
Just a thought...No one wants to pee a lot, but how about if we could help people that were CONSTIPATED? What if just by hanging around Kate and I, people would get the urge to have a bowel movement? Think of it....less time on the toilet, less incidence of hemmorhoids, no more swimmy donuts on your car seat, etc.... Just a thought...

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Just Announced!! New Spring Break Destinations!! All Inclusive!!

Hold the presses and don't let the plane leave the gate!! Gone are the days of crowding your friends in a compact car pooling your money for gas, food, lodgings and the ever important--BEER..... I have it on good authority that if you break out those preppy/golf/country club type outfits, (or borrow mummys and poppys) such as this spiffy looking couple here has,you can PRETEND to be interested in buying extremely high end $3.5M+ homes in veddy, veddy, exclusive, communities.

But thats not all folks...nope. It seems that when a well heeled couple such as Muffy and Bif here express a desire to purchase one of these homes, they are invited to stay on the property, use the facilities and even run up substantial bills, all in the name of completing a possible real estate transaction. Sometimes they even have on-site designers at their disposal to move furniture around a house for hours on end to envision what it may look like. Then...when suspicion creeps in, they scurry off in the middle of the night. Apparently this is not an isolated incident, but has not happened frequently enough to warrant viewing prospective mega-mansion buyers as pond scum.
My response to my friends lament about being naive and never thinking it could happen here, was to email him.....immediately.

Dear G:
That sucks ----Where do I sign up? Im on spring break next week and I would love to spend time at "__________" using their facilities and pretending to want to buy a home. Hang on while I dust off my clubs....BTW-is there a credit check? Can I blog about this wondrous opportunity? Can I bring a friend? or two? or 25?
Let me know,

My dearest A:
No, no backgound or credit check. This certainly falls under your "its not what you think" subject. Apparently these cats have done this same thing at other posh clubs in PB County and they are moving north. I will have a sales person call you for next week, lol!!!
Anyway that is my excitement for the day and it is only 7 am. How about you?
Take care,

So Spring Breakers, put away your cargo shorts and break out your Chinos and Madras shirts we're going to the club. Forget the beer, we're drinking Sapphire Gin Martinis. No wet t-shirts here----Backgammon's the name of the game. Unless of course the links are your style- the 19th hole adult beverages are least until we raise a few eyebrows,that is- and then it will be time to get out of Dodge.....