Friday, December 21, 2007

I'd Like My Martini Extra Dirty, Please.....

Until now, the only thing I had to worry about was that I DID get olives in my Martini. It turns out that I also have to decide whether my olives are 'placed' or 'thrown." PLACED? THROWN? What the hell does that mean and why is it interfering with one of the last socially acceptable pre-dinner activities of the modern world?

I searched high and low for an answer, but to no avail. I also could not find a picture of a jar of placed or thrown olives. Just take my word for it--they exist. Go to a grocery store and go to the olive section. The spanish olives (green with the pimento, for example) are in jars and are labeled either thrown or placed.

Finally, I asked an olive expert(also known as a buyer) from the deepest darkest caverns of the Publix Distribution Headquarters in Lakeland, Florida. Are you ready for what that means? Get ready...this is going to be very difficult to understand:

**Placed olives are "placed" in the jar by hand, so they face out and look pretty. PRETTY!!!!
**Thrown olives are "thrown" in the jar or more likely machine packed.

Placed or thrown? Look at the jar...if you can tell the difference, you are a better person than I--or even Martha Stewart, I bet.......
As for me? After the second Martini, I couldn't care less where they "place" me OR "throw" me.

PLACED VS THROWN--> Now you HAVE a choice


Joe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Joe said...

Remember the last time I made you a mixed drink? WE almost got thrown ut of the comedy club after the performer snagged your cell phone and had an explicit conversation with your daughter, as part of his act. Then, you and my boyfriend decided to make the men's restroom your personal disco. Next, you passed out at my place and awoke to a pussy on your oversized breast! Some drink!

Onknees (not_onknees at the moment) said...

That was a great night!!!!!!