And Now For Something Completely Different....

Lilly McElroy --I first heard about this site in the newspaper or the magazine, made note of it and have finally gotten around to visiting it. The reason it got my attention in the first place was because Lilly throws herself at men. Not unusual in this day and age. Any Friday or Saturday night in any given bar across the world, WOMEN WILL THROW THEMSELVES AT MEN in various ways, shapes, forms, etc. but Lilly literally THROWS herself into mens arms, leaping through the air with apparently the greatest of ease.....as evidenced by her portfolio on the website.

I looked at it a few minutes ago, and throwing herself at men is not the only thing she does. She is a performance artist--a brave one---when you reflect on what she does and what kind of attention it gets.

The site is a bit different to maneuver around, but well worth the time to view

BLACK . SNAKE. MOAN.

Oh...My....
The title alone makes me want to powerwash my brain of sordid, libidinous, illicit, and politically incorrect thoughts...Thank God, I can't access a pressure cleaner.
It took me a couple of months to get around to placing this on my Netflix queue after having watched a trailer for it at Kat's house one afternoon. I do declare it caused ME to have a spate of the vapours, which notching up the ceiling fan and refreshing my Diet Coke barely alleviated. We both looked at each other and swore we would see THAT movie. Kat was the first and I made her swear not to spoil it for me under threat of NEVER being invited to the next fine dining and whining experience in my driveway.

How can I sum up the movie without spoiling it for those who may want to see it in the future? Well, first of all, let me tell you that I was expecting this just from the title before seeing the trailer

Then after seeing the trailer....I STILL thought it was similarly themed, except with a modern day twist.....but alas it was not . It was a love story....with the universal theme of love transcending all obstacles...with a twist.
Instead of a movie review/summary plot...I offer you some phrases that are associated with the movie.

My Fair Lady
mental health
mental illlness
anxiety
sexual abuse
promiscuity
football
football field
grass
Pygmalion
grass stains
dysfunctional families
stupid mothers
dirtbag stepfathers
Beauty and the Beast
Misery
pickup trucks
loyalty
alcohol
drugs
trailers
deep south
betrayal
religion
sex
black
white
racism, and obviously many, many, more.....
This movie is disturbing in the way a car accident is. You don't want to look, but you find it hard not to..

Could Y'all Pass Me the Monkey Dust ?

Over the years, my friends have always heard me refer to seasoning my cooking with "Monkey Dust". Their eyes would get big, they'd swallow hard and ask me what the hell Monkey Dust was.
Did they think I kept 2 monkeys in the cabinet and rubbed them together over the pot to generate monkey dust? Or perhaps my smoking monkey taps his ashes into the sauce between stirrings?
Well, the term has a history, but I never went into it with them. I just tell them its a seasoning blend I had started using while living in the Glades and they simmer down real quick like. (Must be because I speak with an air of authority)

Yesterday, my friend Kat, who is spending the summer in her New York City pied `a terre, called and left a message on my cell phone. "What exactly is in Monkey Dust"? was the question. Hmmm..I really need to tell the story once and for all....and send her some cuz she won't find it up there in Yankee Land. I don't think anything with the word "Everglades" can be sold north of the Mason -Dixon line....It's IN the rule book...

Everglades Seasoning® "Food Seasoning" (a.k.a. Monkey Dust)

When Mess Sergeant Bill Gerstman arrived in Saipan in 1944, he encountered a situation which most thought had no hope. Gerstman found the soldiers of the 714th Rescue Mission so disgusted with eating only mutton and goat that they were dumping their rations into the sea.

Gerstman was raised on a small farm in Alabama and was taught that anything could be made to taste good if seasoned properly. In keeping with that philosophy, Gerstman began experimenting with various herbs and spices. The result was a secret recipe that not only satisfied the soldiers' appetites, but the delicious taste had them coming back for more. Soon the troops were using Gerstman's seasoning on mutton meatballs, eggs, vegetables, potatoes, and any other ration which required seasoning.
After completion of his military duties, Gerstman returned home to the states and resumed his trade as meat cutter/butcher at the LaBelle Trading Post in LaBelle, Florida. With spices and seasonings easier to obtain, he perfected his secret recipe, calling it Monkey Dust, to the delight of many customers who patronized the small general store.

In 1976, the secret formula was finally perfected, the famous logo was patented and EVERGLADES SEASONING was born. Gerstman seasoned local meats for years until, in 1985, he sold the recipe to Gene and Martha Cross, owners of the LaBelle Trading Post. For the next seven years, Gene and Martha Cross began distributing Everglades Seasoning in southwest Florida on a limited bases. During this period, sales grew steadily as word of mouth advertising was creating more demand for the secret recipe.

Later on when I moved away from the Glades area, I started using Badia Complete Seasoning, but continued to refer to it as Monkey Dust..because its easier...

Now...this morning I discovered a new favorite seasoning:

Cooter Rub !!!!!!!!

Can you imagine what fun I can have with this little phrase? and it starts tonight with the grilled fish....mmmmmmm

Whats Next? The Ovary Cook Off?

Just when you thought you had heard it all, comes a festival for TESTICLES. I was reading the blogs I like since I had some time on my hands and went to Flack and Proud , because this blog never disappoints...sometimes I feel like we may have been separated at birth, but thats another theme...
I did not know that testicles got their own festivals and more surprisingly--in UTAH. I thought the Garlic fest was as wild as it got. Woohoo...a reason to say balls and testicles all weekend long, and think of witty tongue in cheek sayings...Sorry I missed it...but read that blog post and here is a link to the news story...film at 11.....
Have a ball....

Ohhhhh...So All This Time, We've Been Doing It All Wrong?

I thought NOT wearing panties was the way to make a man powerless to resist you. All this time and trouble spent on pruning, trimming, waxing and plucking so that you could whisper in your partners ear, "I'm not wearing any panties" as a prelude to sex--unnecessary!!!!! It turns out that leaving them on will sap a mans energy and render him powerless-at . least. in. -Burma.

Apparently, regional superstition in Burma holds that touching a woman's panties or even their traditional sarong, will make men powerless. This knowledge has become the impetus for the Panties For Peace movement initiated by a group of women from a Burmese peace activist group called - Lanna Action for Burma which is based in Thailand and is symbolic in protest of Myanmar junta’s violent crackdown of monks-led rallies in Yangon last month, and to oust the generals ruling the country from power, because they are superstitious.

One pair of panties is good, but millions would be better, so you can see how this has spread into a global effort. Large. Huge... ****(okay, so Im thinking that this has got to work for those ladies that DON'T want sex as well, cuz if Mr. Man has to take your panties off, the act of touching them will zap his energy and you will be back to sleep in no time)

As for moi, I don't wear panties (I know, TMI), so I will share a game with you that I have been playing for an amount of time, that I will not divulge here, except to say that am CEO of the "Center for the Easily Entertained"-Put on your big girl panties and deal with it....

Sorry Gardens Mall---We WON'T be Ignored!!!!

Here's an update of last weeks post about the Gardens Mall- I had written an email to the General manager of the mall and I get a call from a woman who is in charge of special events in response to the email. I tell her my story and she says to me that the mall has no such security measures in place and asks me for the exact date and time of the incident so she can investigate. She will get back with me shortly. When I get home, I have an email from WPTV which is the NBC affiliate here in West Palm Beach. Tim Malloy wants to interview me and makes a date to meet that night, but it gets postponed until the next day (Friday). that morning we meet, he interviews and films, asks me if there is any footage of my kids talking about the incident and how they felt, so we shot that and took it to him by his deadline. Before I leave the station, he tells me it will be on at 6pm.
I go home and watch the news later on that evening. The situation was tastefully handled on the stations end, with the simple request of an apology to my students to put it to rest. The Gardens Mall on the other hand, had some canned comment about how security measures being in place for the protection and well being of the public, blah, blah, blah.... No responsibility, no acknowledgement, no apology and of course no return phone call....

We have made many partnerships with influential, affluent groups and communities who support our efforts to increase the chances of success in the future with the students at my school. The ones that have heard about the incident are shocked and disappointed that the Gardens Mall would support such discriminatory practices. They are hot about it and are actively spreading the word among community members, friends, and family. I'm sure the Palm Beach post may get wind of it as well, as they have covered many a success story at our school.

Oh, I'm sure that you are not worried...you have enough "ladies who lunch" and stay at home moms with a wallet full of credit cards, bent on immediate gratification to keep you afloat. A handful of teenagers who are trying to better themselves educationally and at the same time patronize your food court are inconsequential in your "big picture" (read: BOTTOM LINE).

All my students wanted was a validation of their feelings and an apology.......



""The measure of a civilization is how it treats its weakest members." Who said this? And is this an accurate quote?" You would be surprised at what I found...

"...the moral test of government is how that government treats those who are in the dawn of life, the children; those who are in the twilight of life, the elderly; those who are in the shadows of life; the sick, the needy and the handicapped. " ~ Last Speech of Hubert H. Humphrey

"A nation's greatness is measured by how it treats its weakest members." ~ Mahatma Ghandi

"Any society, any nation, is judged on the basis of how it treats its weakest members -- the last, the least, the littlest."
~Cardinal Roger Mahony, In a 1998 letter, Creating a Culture of Life

The greatness of America is in how it treats its weakest members: the elderly, the infirm, the handicapped, the underprivileged, the unborn. ~Bill Federer

The ball's in your court, Gardens Mall....Do the right thing....for MY students surely did....