Saturday, November 15, 2008

I Fear It's Getting Worse, Folks.....

Spotted on Craigslist personals this morning.....

freins first is okay(but if good loving dont fallow?) - m4w - 55 (oakland pk blvd)
Reply to:
Date: 2008-11-15, 3:27AM EST

you need to find a gay person

hi i am from lebanon all that freind stuff (& going out )with no hope in sight is a boaring realation (dont you think)

get a dog call me i f you need a good man w/solid back bone

sam 954 552 3437

better yeath send me your photo (i hope you dont look like you know)

Location: oakland pk blvd
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interestsPostingID: 919857172

Here is my (never to be mailed) response:

Dear Sam:
In addition to the atrocious spelling, which is making my eye twitch as I scan my desk for a red pen, I must comment on the fact that you do not exactly present as God's gift to women.
And, no, "sam" I don't know what you mean when you write that if I send a picture, "you don't look like YOU KNOW"---you mean, LIKE YOU?
Because unless you have an enormously huge penis, or tongue or bank account, I predict that you will be advertising on Craigslist for a looooong time.
Some suggestions:
1. Use spellcheck/dictionary/or a smart friend to correct your spelling and grammar.
2. Leave gay references out of your ad---it screams IGNORANT!!
3. Make sure you have a solid erection to go with the solid backbone.
4. Don't post a picture of you and your mother (or is that you with "YOU KNOW" which case
it explains the expression on your face.
I will be checking back often to see how you are doing....I hope that your ad does not migrate to the "casual encounters" section, but I suppose you must do what you must do.....
Good Luck,


Joe said...

Let me get this would not dress him and drag, loosen him up with your strap on, and send him home with an old pair of your heals?

You have really become conservative!

Onknees (not_onknees at the moment) said...

You know? I didn't think of that....hmmmm.Forgot about that.
Maybe I WILL do that, after all, he did want some good loving......