Onknees- Its not what you think.....

Could it be????

2008-11-21T19:23:00.005-05:00

Twins separated at birth? Amy Winehouse without that huge beehive thing on her head....and Jerry Seinfeld.

I love her music and Jerry makes me laugh and reminds me of my friend Joe.

Lean On Me..When Your Not Strong...I'll Be Your Friend, I'll Help You Carry Ooonnnn....

2008-11-18T21:03:00.007-05:00

Sometimes life gets a little crazy. Sometimes we need a little help. Sometimes we want to help a little. It's all okay-really....

Im sure that you have all heard that teachers are overworked and underpaid. Its been like that for awhile and likely to continue, Obama or no Obama. So it's nice when you can turn to a peer for some simple words of encouragement, a shoulder to cry on , share a funny story or just vent..

Well, here at the Ridge, thats exactly what's happening . In our own classroom at lunchtime, we gather to get some therapy. Jennifer is a teacher during the day, a graduate student in Psychology at night, a tutor at night, a single mom of two and trust me, I don't know how she does it. She is intelligent, very hard working, thoughtful, creative, and caring. Which is why she conducts our "Lunchtime Therapy". Here is a clip of her last session (which happened to be today)

I Fear It's Getting Worse, Folks.....

2008-11-15T07:33:00.005-05:00

Spotted on Craigslist personals this morning.....

freins first is okay(but if good loving dont fallow?) - m4w - 55 (oakland pk blvd)
Reply to: mailto:pers-919857172@craigslist.org?
Date: 2008-11-15, 3:27AM EST

you need to find a gay person

hi i am from lebanon all that freind stuff (& going out )with no hope in sight is a boaring realation (dont you think)

get a dog call me i f you need a good man w/solid back bone

sam 954 552 3437

better yeath send me your photo (i hope you dont look like you know)

Location: oakland pk blvd
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interestsPostingID: 919857172

Here is my (never to be mailed) response:

Dear Sam:
In addition to the atrocious spelling, which is making my eye twitch as I scan my desk for a red pen, I must comment on the fact that you do not exactly present as God's gift to women.
And, no, "sam" I don't know what you mean when you write that if I send a picture, "you don't look like YOU KNOW"---you mean, LIKE YOU?
Because unless you have an enormously huge penis, or tongue or bank account, I predict that you will be advertising on Craigslist for a looooong time.
Some suggestions:
1. Use spellcheck/dictionary/or a smart friend to correct your spelling and grammar.
2. Leave gay references out of your ad---it screams IGNORANT!!
3. Make sure you have a solid erection to go with the solid backbone.
4. Don't post a picture of you and your mother (or is that you with "YOU KNOW"...in which case
it explains the expression on your face.
I will be checking back often to see how you are doing....I hope that your ad does not migrate to the "casual encounters" section, but I suppose you must do what you must do.....
Good Luck,
Annette

Happy Veterans Day----Some More Reasons To Be Thankful

2008-11-11T06:57:00.010-05:00

Thirty- two years ago, I had the bright idea of joining the Army (obviously the circus wasn't in town, or it could have gone that way). Let me set the scene: 18, problems with authority, hard headed, defiant, lazy, loud, disco queen, etc (Can someone say, "Private Benjamin?). You get the picture. All the things the US Army DID NOT want. I will not bore you with the details of my enlistment except to say that a good time was had by all (except perhaps my family, when I did stupid things that worried them). I DID have the dubious distinction of being in the first group of women to be known as "soldiers" and not WACs (Womens Army Corp) as we were the first to engage in co-ed basic training and responsible for the same level of mastery in all areas as the men--right alongside them .

What this country should be thankful for was that as a Vietnam War Era veteran, in a peacetime Army, I did not see combat. A few photos to snap you back into reality and be thankful for me. Don't thank me for being a veteran, thank me for not re-enlisting.....

Who Me? No, I dont know how your air mattress got holes in it!!!!

Not a sobriety test -->

Martha Stewart would be proud...this is my barracks room---all Holly Hobbied and Micky Moused up!!!!

I'm tellin ya...count your blessings, America!!!!

Name That Answer.....

2008-11-09T21:29:00.004-05:00

There was a show once upon a time...It was called " Name That Tune"..The contestants would listen to a melody and name it before their competition did. Nice show, I really enjoyed it.

Name That Tune Michael vs. Barbara Part 1 of 2
by JackBauer112

Fast forward about 26 years.....The boy-child calls and asks for advice...could be cooking, cleaning, laundry, relationships, etc......whatever.I am advised that it is stressful for him to call because I have too much to say...

Not a problem, I know that I overdo the conversation to include pros, cons and alternatives to whatever the question was......usually losing the caller in the end.....

So now, my son prefaces his calls with the phrase, "Name that answer in 10 words or less. mom, I'm in a hurry"..this is usually in response to something he needs in the grocery store, work issues, school, and he needs it immediately-if not sooner. Love that about him....nothing has changed in 26 years.....So, now I have to name that answer in 10 seconds, give or take a few?Well, i'll try, but i can't promise...I'm Latin...nothing can be said in few words.
But seriously, he is my first...how can I deny him??? OK- I'll try....

Who am I kidding? Both my kids are MOST important... So, I better get it right

Chocolate News...No, Really !!

2008-11-06T23:32:00.003-05:00

Here it is Wednesday. I'm recovering from my Tuesday Election night festivities at a local tavern (my candidate won) and very thankful that I can now go home and relax AND sleep. I get a call from a friend that I MUST watch South Park (I haven't watched that since Cartman found out about his father, or mother or something).
Well, I watched it and then this show called "Chocolate News" comes on. It's kind of like the Dave Chapelle Show, except its hosted and done by David Alan Grier. In any case, his opening monologue of course is the to-be-expected speech about Obama, and history and MLK yadda yadda yadda. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy the right person won, but its hard to beat the classy, eloquence of Obama's victory speech that night, and frankly, I'm done with hearing others go on about it.
So anyway, he goes into this skit where he is dressed as a woman who worked the polls during this election.....This is a great stuff....Wednesday night folks...Comedy Central....10:30, after South Park. Tune into "Chocolate News".....you will pee your pants. I did, but I'm menopausal...it's different with me....

Not as Smart as I Thought.....

2008-11-03T23:56:00.006-05:00

I admit it...I'm stumped. The behaviorist, strategist, modification whiz... stumped!!!! Can you believe it? It is sooo frustrating to me that it almost brings me to tears.....

I know that the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over while expecting different results....So why do I keep extending myself and keep giving people the benefit of the
doubt if time and time again they end up disappointing me? and of course, each time I end up feeling more stupid....

Could be Karma....I know that I have disappointed people who gave me the benefit of the doubt and then got nothing in return--or worse. So tell me beloved blog readers----what to do? I am open to all suggestions. I can't feel any worse than I do right now....

Dick n' Sandwich

2008-11-01T13:50:00.000-04:00

Yup....you heard right. A few years ago, we were sitting around hours after the Thanksgiving meal, when my son said he wanted to have some pie. I said I was hungry as well. He asked what I was in the mood for and I said, "A dicken sandwich".

I thought my son's head was going to come off his shoulders. You would have thought I suggested that both he and his sister and I bond over some Brazilian Waxing sessions. It took some explaining, but he realized that I was talking about a REAL sandwich and not anything, uh...hmm, well, you know.....not a DICK and then a SANDWICH.

I'M YOUR MOTHER, FOR CHRIST SAKE!!!!! I'm open, but not THAT open!!!!!

After the initial shock wore off, then they made up some dick jokes of their own. Such as : Pat's girlfriend at the time did not want a dicken sandwich, but would rather have dick n' cider...and on and on in that vein---okay, maybe not the best choice of words there....

In any case....there is such a thing as a "Dicken Sandwich". The name and idea is copyrighted to McNallys Tavern, which bythe way has quite a history-and is simply a Turkey dinner---in a sandwich. THATS IT!!!!!! The most fun you can have with your clothes on, folks. I can't wait to use the term at the church socials and the PTA meetings. Im thinking it will increase participation at my Book Club gatherings, if I mention that refreshments will consist of dicken sandwiches and coffee or tea......

I know its still early, and it was all I could do to wait til November, but its the 1st of November now and this is why I look forward to Thanksgiving!!!!!!

Sarah Palin is now the SECOND most powerful woman in the U.S.

2008-10-29T23:00:00.010-04:00

FRI, NOV. 7, 2008

Obama's Loss Traced to Annette Dominguez

"Single Nonvoter Tipped Election to McCain-Palin Ticket "

Latest News
Gov. Palin: 'Lookit That—I'm The Second-Most Powerful Person In The World'
Neighbor: 'Annette Always Seemed So Normal'
World: 'Really? Again? Really?!?'
Health Care Advocates Predict Reform By 2034

Slow Week? Or Groundbreaking News? YOU Decide...

2008-10-29T06:08:00.002-04:00

How to Find Out if Your Dog Likes McCain or Obama
By Eric Letendre
Rate: (6 Ratings)
Every four years the biggest election in the country takes place. It's an exciting time of the year for anyone even mildly interested in politics. But what about your dog? Is your dog a Democrat or a Republican? There is only one way to find out--you have to ask your dog. Before I go any further, I want to remind you that you should not get upset with your dog if they have a different political affiliation than you. Remember your Mother's advice: "Don't discuss politics, religion or money." In this article you'll discover how to ask your best friend this all important question.

Like Shooting Fish in a Fuckin' Barrel

2008-10-26T09:15:00.002-04:00

What kind of person would I be if as a jumping off point, I were to use any of the pictures from this particular slide show? My integrity, consummate good taste, and credibility would forever (no matter how hard I scrubbed) be a wee bit tarnished.

Okay, that was hard...y'all know I don't give a fuck what people think. If they don't like what I write or post, they can take their ass elsewhere---oh, or THEY may be the subject of the next post..that's MY personal favorite.

So in the interest of wanting to post something and finding these pics to be like a car accident-you don't want to look, but still can't tear yourself away-consider this your Pre-Halloween trick post.....

New--> Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade

2008-10-21T07:02:00.008-04:00

Dear Ms. Lulu (AKA "the girl child"),

I have decided to enter your shoes in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade (of shoes).

Marvin the Martian will be made into the opening float. Look how overjoyed they are!!!

Your (not cheap) cosmetology school mannequin head life-partners HAVE been elected as the Parade Martials to co-represent the LGBT community in the hopes that NY state will soon follow other forward thinking states and legalize marriage for Gay and Lesbian citizens.

New YorkNote: By a May 29, 2008 directive, New York only recognizes gay marriages from couples legally married outside of the state. read more

Until your acceptance letter is received, please place these shoes in your room for safekeeping, as I know there will be a mad rush to get initial interviews with them by the tabloids.

Thank you,

The Management (AKA Mom)

Get your flu shots!!!!!!

2008-10-19T23:25:00.007-04:00

By coincidence, I came down with what I thought was a cold---the day BEFORE-I had scheduled my flu shot.
Needless to say, I went downhill quickly. In bed, headaches, chills, pains, aches, thirst. I have spent 4 days so far drinking liquids, peeing and sleeping. The way I look at it, the only good (always the optimist) that can come of this is that I drop a few pounds.
I happened to begin to experience complications from my asthma and hightailed it to the doctor today. Steroids are wonderful. (I know they are bad for you...but why is it that the things that make you feel good are either fattening , immoral or dangerous?). I won't go into the specifics, but by tomorrow I will be reroofing the house, changing the oil and tuning up the car, pressure cleaning the neighbors house, cooking 5 course meals and making my students beg the nurse for extra meds to slip to their teacher.....ahhh, steroids.
But---->If you don't have asthma or chronic bronchitis which may cause your blood oxygen level to drop to 95% or less...you will have to follow the original regimen of liquids, tylenol, peeing and sleeping....no medrol dosepaks for you!!!!
Just be good to yourself and impose on you friends for chicken soup and runs to Publix for Ginger Ale (69 cents for 2 liters--such a deal).....

Obama, I love ya, but can you please stop calling?

2008-10-16T00:56:00.001-04:00

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Obama, I love ya, but can you please stop calling?

2008-10-15T23:30:00.011-04:00

I know its the big push...gotta get those uncommitted voters, gotta touch base with those early supporters , reinforce the strong points of the campaign, yadda yadda yadda. But O...times are tough and everytime you call me, you are using up my minutes!!! I find it hard to interrupt and cut off at the knees someone who sounds so nice and considerate when convincing me for the 47th time that I should vote for you. At this point , Im considering NOT voting so that I can not go into debt to pay my phone bill..unless of course you have a campaign promise for that...So let me reinforce the strong points of MY life....Im a professional and a student,a mother and a father, a lover not a hater, but sometimes a masterbater, doesn't really matter, im tired of all the chatter...so Obama, I love ya babe, but ya gotta quit calling.

Home vs Human Maintenance

2008-10-07T06:25:00.005-04:00

In the process of settling into a new (to me) home, I have encountered a few things that have required replacing or fixing. This does not seem unreasonable to me, although I began to see parallels in a home that had not been "lived in" for a while and myself who has not been "loved in" in a while. Stop-I know what your thinking, too much information right? I don't care-its my blog-get your big girl panties on and deal with it....

So I'm on a mission--okay, maybe not a mission, but I have at least set a goal: Get out, get a guy, get ______. (You get to fill in the blank). I'm not even looking for Mr. Right. I will settle for Mr. Right Now at least for awhile....I have a whole new respect for the term "test drive". I'm not trading in for a newer model, however. I would like someone my age or a bit older. A LITTLE BIT older....Well, we shall see.

As part of my renovation, replacement, maintenance, etc. I have had to unearth some clothing that I had kind of left behind which, frankly, were sexy. I need to find places to go that will utilize these great clothes and meet men who will appreciate them-and me. AND after last Saturdays outing with a girlfriend, I realized that I'm going to have to do some serious exercise to get back in shape. Stay tuned....

Sooooo.......What have I learned?

I'm thinking that its true that "If you don't use it you will lose it and/ or it will rust, clog, sputter, stain,creak, stall, lose pressure, drip, crack, mildew. This also applies to home maintenance.

Ceiling Fan Sex

2008-09-25T23:16:00.006-04:00

I shit you not...I sat straight up in bed at 3 at A .M yesterday because I could have sworn that I heard a MAN moaning and gasping and all while in "the act". Im thinking, damn.....that guy next door is pretty loud....and yes, I was still listening.....when I realized it was coming from the darn fan over my head.

So why was I listening? Well...if you have been around at all and have read this blog, you KNOW that I am a student of human nature---also known as a voyeur. Shoot me , ok? I yam what I yam.

What do I do???? Use WD40?, readjust the blades, recharge the rabbit and take advantage of the sound effect? I understand that this could be a good thing, but I also feel like it could be taunting me.........Any thoughts? (NOT YOU, JOE)

Moving, Moving On, Moving Out, Moving Along,Moving Up, Moving My Ass......

2008-09-08T18:56:00.006-04:00

Ahhhh moving....As in moving from one place to another.....I hate it, dread it, but still, you'd think I'd be an expert by now. Grew up moving with my parents whenever a "better" opportunity came along in the way of building management, moving when I ran away and joined the Army, moving when I married an Army man, and of course the inevitable moving when the Army/Police man moved on to the trophy wife (please refer to Balls 1 and Balls 2 ----and that was ALL by the age of 24.

I hate it SO much, that I took 3 whole weeks to do it. I only moved as much as I could transport in my car one trip at a time, in the back seat and trunk without anything touching doors or ceiling of the car-unlike the illustration at left. Hence, the lack of update to my blog on a regular basis (well, as regular as it ever was).

The good news is that Im done and my life is settling into some semblance of its former self, albeit in a different setting. I HAVE although been finding things and making notes for future posts, so stay tuned.....

Surrogate Cat Sex

2008-09-01T21:37:00.008-04:00

My kitty is in heat--My four-footed one,thanks

(no, Joe: Mine is not on the shelf, Bucko)

The poor thing is so miserable and Im going to get her fixed...she is on the list at the Spay Shuttle. Palm Beach County's answer to low cost, conveyor belt styled spay and neutering services. She is #1600 or was when I called and scheduled 2 months ago....

In the meanwhile, she is miserable and so are we. Its not the caterwauling that is usually the norm,but rather the rubbing and grunting and squirming and POSTURING that is the problem. So, I went online---and here is what I found. Once I got done laughing at the sheer perversity of introducing a q-tip into my cats vagina and simulating sex, I hid all the q-tips in case my son happened to read this post. Without further ado....please read the article that started it all....

How To Calm A Cat In Heat <--If anyone else has any realistic and less bestiality type hints, please feel free to let me know. Until then I will be attempting to cut in line at the Spay Shuttle...

Dinner With Julie Part 2

2008-08-28T22:24:00.003-04:00

A continuation of the August 17th post where we make plans to go to dinner with a most excellent waitress.

We had agreed to meet at the Lantana Ale House, a kind of sports, music, inside /outside seating kind of place. I have eaten there quite often and knew that there was a variety of food which most likely would please all the members of our party.

When we arrived, the sign at the door asked you to wait to be seated-Julie moves on past it, scans the area and chooses a set of tables that she proceeds to put together for us. We are still sheepishly inching our way towards the tables, waiting for a wait staff to question why we did not wait---I guess she thought better of asking after seeing how Julie took charge of the situation...

We are seated (by Julie) when suddenly our real waitress comes out and begins her spiel forgetting to mention "Todays specials". Julie jumps on that like white on rice---I was starting to feel afraid for the young waitress. Julie takes everyones drink order and then recites it back to the girl in an organized fashion along with our appetizer order. I thought this was the end of it and that the girl would take the hint that she needed to step up her game. I relaxed and let out a deep breath.

Well we start perusing the menu and it turns out that Julie is the Gold Medal winner in the"I have some questions" event. Joe used to swear that it was me, but it turns out I cannot even score bronze against Julie. Of course, her questions are better than mine because she knows what goes on behind the scenes in a restaurant. My burning question is always, "Are the wings breaded or can I git em nekkid?", which is enough to make Joe roll his eyes and apologize for the trouble I causing...DICK.

HE did not say peep during Julies interrogation of the waitress concerning cooking methods, frozen or fresh, light or heavy, trans fat or not, cream versus milk, real ice tea vs powdered, etc. I kept waiting for him to comment....DICK. Not even a vein on his bald head stood out...DICK.

In any case, I appreciated Julies expertise as she timed the waitresses trips to the table, refills of water, accuracy of dinner order....NONE of which were to Julies standards. It came down to a tip countdown, whch is to say everytime the waitress did not DO what Julie considered to be timely and appropriate, the announcement was made of what her tip had decreased to. When I heard 17% and we had just been served...all thoughts of trying out this line of work some summer went right out the window...I was not worthy :)

Im not quite sure what the final total was, although the bill was about $126.00 for six people....

I can't wait to go out again with Julie and Mike...... and DICK.

Miss Sister 2008---Coming to a church social hall near you!!!

2008-08-26T05:52:00.012-04:00

Rome-Italian Priest Organizes a Beauty Contest--Finally someone is recognizing that nuns are women too and need to start becoming as self involved and superficial as the rest of their gender.

I know, I know...whats the world coming to? But did you really think that the world of high fashion, makeup, cosmetic surgery, and bitchiness would never expand to include the very women that practically pioneered the concept of the basic black dress?

Im not sure who the judges would be (thats a whole other blog post), but I would hope that they would be unbiased individuals with an appreciation for displays of womanly pulchritude. I mean, who can compete with Sophia Loren in a nuns habit?

I hope that we get to see some of this pageant, but while we are waiting, I have scoured the internet (okay, google images) for ideas as to what we would see... Im going to skip the Nuns Parade of Nations bit and go right to the talent show. Im thinking that many of these ladies would be performing this technique, perfected over many years of dealing with unruly Catholic school angels.

Then again there are the ones that have more of a Fine Arts bent and will wow you with their talent at painting from a live model.

What pageant would be complete without the Evening Gown competition? Black is a wonderful color. You can dress it up or down. An outfit you can wear from Convent, to classroom , to fetish convention to confessional, and back to the Convent.

The swimsuit competition is always popular (especially with the priests). Here is where the ladies can pull out all the stops and highlight their best assets . Modesty be damned...we gotta win!!!
But, as in any competition, there are winners and losers, and we would like to think that in the religious world, as community role models, that nuns would display admirable sportsmanship....well, you keep thinking that. Im here to tell you that they are just regular people and feel the ecstasy of winning and also the agony of defeat.

Gotta love it. Stay tuned.

Nun beauty pageant: Cat Fight at 11

Opportunist? or Optimist?

2008-08-19T07:51:00.003-04:00

In the midst of constant weather reporting, active tornado sightings and at least one causing damage in Wellington (just 10 miles from me), Im so glad that there are still people that can see the humor.....
(Posted on Craigslist under the FREE category for Palm Beach County)

email this posting to a friend south florida craigslist > palm beach co > free stuff
please flag with care:
miscategorized prohibited spam/overpost best of craigslist

Free natural water.....forget Mona Vie (Rain-band)
Reply to: mailto:sale-803053579@craigslist.org?subject=Free%20natural%20water.....forget%20Mona%20Vie%20(Rain-band)Date: 2008-08-19, 4:19AM EDT

<--Put a bucket outside & get plenty.

Location: Rain-band
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interestsPostingID: 803053579

Attention Aging Lesbians--You Need to Change To "Digital" Programming

2008-08-17T15:10:00.006-04:00

My friend Joe and I can speak/discuss/debate and bicker about a plethora of subjects. He is Republican and I am Democrat. He likes Nine Inch Nails and I like James Brown. I am easy going and he is easily excitable. One of the best things we have in common is that we are tolerant of other peoples differences whether they are religious, sexual, culinary or fashion related.
So imagine my consternation when after telling a story ,multiple times, about a friend I have , who is a Lesbian and in her late 80's--Joe asks me if she is still a Lesbian. He asks me EVERY time. What does he think?
I watched this movie "Notes On a Scandal" with Judi Dench and Cate Blanchett. Heres the gist:

One of the best movies we've seen in a few years, "Notes on a Scandal" is a complex story, beautifully scripted and filmed by Director Richard Eyre. But let Rolling Stones' Peter Travers summarize it:
Blanchett plays Sheba Hart, a new art teacher at London's St. George School. Beautiful and upper-class, Sheba has an older husband (the ever-amazing Bill Nighy) and a son with Down syndrome. She is also having it on with Steven Connolly (Andrew Simpson), one of her fifteen-year-old students. It's Sheba's bad luck that while giving Steven a vigorous blow job she's caught by Barbara Covett (Dench), a lesbian teacher who agrees not to make a scandal if Sheba will become her friend. There's more, much more. And until the film goes off the deep end of melodrama, you'll be riveted. This is the bravest, riskiest role of Dench's brilliant screen career.
The film ends with Dench on the bench were she watches life pass by in front of her and awaits her next female victim. But her time on earth, and her profession life as a teacher, is growing short. Mixed up beauties like Blanchett don't come along every day. So a large part of her life is filled with bitter longing.
The use of sonata form to tie in the parallels between beginning and ending is highly effective, and emotionally rounds off the drama on an appropriate dissonant chord. It is almost as though a serial killer lies in wait for her next victim. It is inevitable that she come along. We wait with her.

But I digress...today as we were having breakfast--at Toojays--served by Julie---I got a call from my friend and Joe again asks---"Is she still a lesbian?" That did it....I turned to him and asked if he thought that women should change their thinking or how they express their sexuality if they are a lesbian of a certain age?

What do they need to do? Change to "digitalization" as opposed to being with a partner? What was the solution? Should they contact "CUMCAST" for their needs? Tell me Joe...is their a cutoff age for Lesbians and their sexual orientation? I welcome your logical and pithy explanation...

Flo the Waitress Has Been Spotted at Toojays in Lake Worth

2008-08-17T14:17:00.007-04:00

Dinner with Julie-Part 1

Remember the show "Alice"? It was a show set in Mel's Diner in Phoenix, Arizona. There was Mel, the owner/cook, Vera the shy waitress, Alice the newly arrived single mom waitress and Flo-my favorite.

My favorite because she was real- real honest, real loud, real intolerant of assholes and fools---My kinda woman.

As a point of reference, the picture of the cast of "Alice" is pictured on

the left. The blonde woman is Flo. Dont worry about anyone else in the picture, she is the only one that matters, except for the customers she abused, which are NOT pictured and are too many to present here.

Now.....please see the image of Julie (real name) at top right. I think Julie resembles Flo. Just my opinion. That is where the resemblance ends. I thought Flo was "assertive". Julie makes Flo look like Mother fuckin Teresa. She is a waitress at Toojays deli in downtown Lake Worth, and has been in this line of work for years apparently and successful for her inimitable way of interacting with customers whether they are hers or not. She is great....like a mind reader almost.....don't piss her off and she will meet your every need---even before you know you have one.

My friends Joe and David invited me along to breakfast one morning and I met Julie. I thought she was great. Especially when she was having a conversation with us and told someone that was trying to speak that "they were not in this conversation and should shutup" -I think my dang nipples got hard.....

I had such a good time that Joe suggested we go to dinner later on. Julie's significant other Mike was at Toojays during all this and thought dinner was a good idea. So we made plans......I was curious...what is it like to go out to dinner with a person who is a server-and a good one?

I Am Now Half a Century Old

2008-07-29T17:13:00.002-04:00

July 29, 1958-A day that will live in infamy!!! ---at least to the individuals who had the dubious pleasure of being around me as I grew up and some others that sauntered thrugh my life after adulthood.

What other important milestones occurred on my birthdate? THIS DAY IN HISTORY Check it out....

So what does reaching 50 mean? For me it means gratitude that I am still alive and have not killed myself with as many stupid stunts I have participated in. I will not list them here, but instead have documented many in about 15 journals so far which will not see the light of day until I am dead and cannot be held responsible for whats in them.

On the other hand, I have done many good things that I am proud of and in the acknowledgement of perhaps another 50 years on this earth, I hope to do as much good as possible before I depart.....

Im grateful for my parents, my sisters and their families, my children, and the handful of individuals I consider to be friends...and you know who you are.

So Happy Birthday to me and here's to another great 50.... Please fasten your seatbelts, its gonna be a bumpy ride.

The Big Apple----Never Disappoints.....

2008-07-28T15:57:00.010-04:00

Today we decided to go into the city, as is our habit when we are visiting here. My parents were closer to the city before they moved, requiring only a short (3 mile) bus drive to the Subway station. But now, they are about 45 miles north and requires us to get on a commuter train to get to Grand Central and THEN use the subway system. Interesting change, and beautiful ride, but expensive especially if you do need the train to get into the city everyday....Our initial cash outlay for 2 round trip tickets PLUS 2 metro card fares for the subway=$49.00. We probably added about another $8 to that by taking more subway rides than we had

planned. But still, its worth it.

As always, I look forward to the eclectic collection of performers to be found in New York City's unique "underground arenas". Here you will find string quartets, comedians, card sharks, a capella singers, and of course the ubiquitous hip hop/ break dancer genre of entertainment.

And did I mention that they are also cute? What great personalities. The best part? They were working!!!!!!! Yes, they were soliciting money in the form of donations, but they were not on a street corner or a busy intersection just panhandling. I think the next "Americas Got Talent" should be held underground at several key NYC subway terminals--they are obviously overlooking a substantial source of talent.

We went to the upper east side to visit friends and have lunch, to SoHo to shop at American Apparel (Why? Because they charge $20 for shipping when you order online, so flying to New York to shop made sense----okay, at least to my daughter), to Times Square to have our usual photo op with "The Naked Cowboy", but we couldn't because he is in some kind of litigation with the Mars company over them dressing up an M&M like him or something. (Naked is featured in the latest issue of Time magazine-Aug 11) and finally anywhere I can get New York Pizza and perhaps an Italian ice- or 4.

and last but not least, since Lulu couldnt take her annual picture with the Naked Cowboy, she had her picture taken with his wannabe body double

Love In the Afternoon...And the Afterlife...

2008-07-26T14:23:00.000-04:00

After taking it easy from Fridays travels (and recovering from Fridays self medication after effects), I was eager to spend time with my parents and catch up....My daughter wanted to get out and explore since she had never visited this particular area since my parents moved. She took off and came back a couple of hours later with a great story....

My parents live in Carmel, New York; an area rich in history related directly to this country's early establishment. Surrounding towns have plaques and signs with dated information as far back as 1788, by my own observation. So it stands to reason that the nearby cemetery would be a pretty interesting place to visit . She walks down the hill and around the winding roads and goes to the Raymond Hill Cemetery.

She's walking around, taking photographs of some interesting tombstones, etc and she happens to see a couple sitting among the grave markers. She continues to stroll and snap pictures, and occasionally glances at the couple. All of a sudden she notices that the girls head is no longer visible. Circling around as unobtrusively as possible, she notices that the girl in question is still there, as is the boy, but she is uh, "otherwise engaged". With that discovery, Lulu hot foots it home to tell the story, to the amazement of my mother--not so much me, but you knew that....

Here are some pictures of some of the markers...

Obviously the one on the right is fairly recent....but great nonetheless...
NOT what she expected in this small town, but what the hell...she's my daughter and likes the twists and turns that life throws her....

Frequent Flyer VS Infrequent Flyer

2008-07-25T23:43:00.002-04:00

The down and dirty---I used to jump out of planes about 31 years ago. Once I had kids, I became skittish and did not fly (or take unnecessary risks) unless necessary-unless I could have a parachute. Since a parachute is not considered carry on luggage, I became a white-knuckled, martini drinking, sociable passenger. The better to numb the anxiety. Here is what it took to get to New York: A bottle of wine before leaving, 2 martinis at PBIA, 2 scotches on the plane, 2 martinis at ATL and 2 scotches on the plane to Westchester County Airport. I had to practically be poured into my mom's car. I make no apologies. I also did not consume as much as a root beer during my stay....Nuf said.

ROAD TRIP!!!!!!! (Film at 11)

2008-07-22T23:30:00.000-04:00

Summer time....and the livin's easy......for me, not so much. I have been working summer school (If not for the money, to keep me out of trouble). Annette=Trouble magnet. Just ask my pal Joe: AKA the trouble accelerator :)
Now that summer school is over, I am traveling home to NY to see my parents and sisters. I haven't been there in a while in spite of my Dad having a stroke last year. I did the balancing act of "do I stay or do I go, now". My family said no, not yet...so I didn't. But now its time....

Im flying up with my daughter and driving my Dads car back. We usually have a good time just kind of messing around, stopping anywhere we want, and eating strange things. My daughter introduced me to "Walking Tacos" on our last road trip. this requires a knowledge and prior planning to be able to visit many 7-Eleven stores between West Palm Beach and New York City.

This makes it easy to construct the "Walking Taco", to wit:

1. 1 small bag of fritos

2. 2 pumps of hot dog chili from the hot dog condiment dispenser

3. 2 pumps of melted cheese , also from the hot dog condiment dispenser

4. Close the top of bag, shake, grab a fork or spoon and ENJOY.

Heres the problem....

GAS!!!!! in the CAR!!!!---CONTINUOUSLY.......until the next scheduled 7-eleven stop, which of course means another round of Walking Tacos....oh well.....stay tuned for pics and updates......and requests for a good car detailer....

Happy Belated Anniversary----To Me!!!!!

2008-07-19T16:35:00.008-04:00

How in the hell did I do that? I MISSED my one year blog anniversary by 2 days. I was so looking forward to it...damn.
Oh well, I guess I did celebrate in a way... I was out having a good time, right? That's all that matters....
In my search for an appropriate picture for this occasion, I came across this picture of Marilyn....I aspire to do this with my drink glass while I'm waiting to take the next sip, or a refill, or for a good looking man to notice or for someone to bring me my pants.
By coincidence, its the same knee that I had surgery on one year ago today....
I have had the best time this year...I hope y'all have as well.
Here's to more mindless frivolity...and I'll have whatever Marilyns drinking..

PLENTY....OF.....FISH!!!! Come on in..the waters fine....

2008-07-18T22:08:00.007-04:00

Plenty of Fish -->International, easy to use, nice people and it's FREE!!!! I have been a member for about 4 years and have not been disappointed. I have met quite a few nice men and have made some friends. All worth the price of membership, which, if i haven't mentioned it, is FREE!!!! There are scheduled events for Fishys to gather and splish splash in the dating pond. I attended my first one ever last night.....
It was held at Club Safari at the PGA Marriott in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida. I had sooooo much fun, and am thrilled to report that Disco is alive and well at Club Safari, complete with experienced, confident and fun loving singles. I was in heaven...there was not one person I spoke to that was not having a good time whether they were on the dance floor or not.... I was there for only 2 hours, but went home feeling pretty optimistic about the availability and openness of singles in my community to meet, mingle and feel good....
If you happen to go to Club Safari's website, you will notice the "Pole Dancing Contests" are advertised. Apparently wet t-shirt and other sophomoric type activities are held there. None of it in evidence last night---Thank God. Not that I have not participated in them in the past...But that's for another post another day...

The 305-561-954-407 SCAM-Cuz After All, We ARE Bigger Than Nigeria

2008-07-16T19:52:00.003-04:00

Just when you thought we, as a people could not get any stupider or unoriginal, comes the South Florida Craigslist Scammers. Jesus, we already can't operate a voting machine, we are a hurricane magnet, the world looks at us like we have 10 fuckin' heads and now we think we are Nigerians......

I have posted some very inconsequential ads on Craigslist in order to get rid of some stuff we no longer needed. One was for a car and the other was for an unopened shipment of Nutrisystem meals.

I should have known there was something up when I got normal responses followed shortly thereafter by emails outlining how the funds would get to me, how the shipping would be done, etc, etc, etc----oh and of course that matter of me cashing the check and forwarding the funds to the shipper...hmm, forgot about that part....

By this time, I understand whats going on and should probably leave it alone and chalk it up to experience....But noooooo....not me....., Im thinkin' "Its time to fuck with these assholes...." and fuck I will....

I went to the bank, asked about the availability of funds for that check (never intending to cash it), got all wide-eyed and flustered when the bank manager came to tell me that the check was no good and that he was afraid that I was being scammed---SCAMMED!!! Heavens to Mergatroid!!! The indignity of it all.....Imagine me...scammed...

He explained how there was a rash of these situations and that I had to be veeerrrryyyy careful. He also suggested that I file a complaint with the sherriffs department. I thanked him and told him I would take it under advisement.

I went home to find an email from from my friendly buyer, wondering where I was in the process as he was extremely anxious to conclude the deal.. I responded by expressing my amazement that there would be a problem with the check, lightly referencing the fact that law enforcement had expressed an interest and that perhaps they should send a money order for the exact amount and that I (in my extreme benevolence) would take care of the shipping myself....yup, I said that.

Later, there is an email suggesting that I just sell the item to someone else......Did I let it go at that? Of course...NOT!!!

The following is my exact email back to them....

From: Sent: Wed 7/16/2008 5:13 PM
Annette
Subject: RE: SHIPPER'S INFORMATION!!
You can cell the item to another person bye

To:brain bab [mailto:brainbab6@hotmail.com]

From: Annette
The Palm Beach County Sheriffs department and Bank of America have solicited my help to begin an investigation in this case. I have not responded as yet because I went out of town today. I told them I had alot of aggravation and running around incurred in this deal without any financial renumeration to show for it. If I decide to go through with it, they will get the check, the UPS envelope, the remittance info, the ad,the emails and my personal banking information, in addition to my full cooperation plus perhaps a Crimestoppers Reward. They apparently have had a lot of other instances of this happening and are anxious to prosecute, as evidenced by their arrival at the bank yesterday when called by the manager for a check that they could not verify as being good.
I'm sorry that we were not able to work anything out....best of luck in the future
Annette

Happy Belated Fourth! A.K.A. 5G's in Fireworks Up In Smoke

2008-07-08T21:41:00.009-04:00

One of the spectators tents erected on my front lawn for, well, the spectators...like me. The fireworks go on you know rain OR shine.....

So Im waiting for the pics from Friday you know? Waiting, waiting, waiting......The my bouncing baby boy alerts me to the fact that they are on his MySpace...I ask you is this anyway to treat the woman who suffered through 13 hours of labor to bring you into the world? That she should have to schlep to your MySpace and "steal" the pics? Enough kvetching, I promise...

I kept hearing about this great Fireworks party thats held every year by my friends, but which I had never attended. they were not kidding. This was overkill!!!!

My friend Sean spends about $5000 on fireworks and his neighbor Craig spends another $5000 and it becomes a fireworks dance off...for about 2 hours or more.....No breaks...gotta get your eating and drinking over with before dark..its all about the gunpowder after that....The picture to the right is SOME of the fireworks in the road that had accumulated. The Police did stop by----to ask us to sweep and clean up some of the used canisters so that cars could go by. Are you kidding? Not one car wanted to turn down that street. between the fireworks and about 50 people partying, it did not seem like a good idea.

This pic illustrates abut 1/5 of the amount of fireworks ONE of these gentlemen had stored up to use---unbelievable.

And another picture of the aftermath. The best Fourth of July I have had in years. People were wonderful, my kids and their friends were there. Food was great and in great abundance.....

When it was over (and i have to tell you that all the fireworks were not set off), everyone-I mean everyone-swept, bagged, picked up, disassembled and otherwise assisted in setting things right before leaving the are to go home. I think that was the best part and would make me not think twice about hosting another party in the future....

And Now For Something Completely Different....

2008-06-28T12:25:00.003-04:00

Lilly McElroy --I first heard about this site in the newspaper or the magazine, made note of it and have finally gotten around to visiting it. The reason it got my attention in the first place was because Lilly throws herself at men. Not unusual in this day and age. Any Friday or Saturday night in any given bar across the world, WOMEN WILL THROW THEMSELVES AT MEN in various ways, shapes, forms, etc. but Lilly literally THROWS herself into mens arms, leaping through the air with apparently the greatest of ease.....as evidenced by her portfolio on the website.

I looked at it a few minutes ago, and throwing herself at men is not the only thing she does. She is a performance artist--a brave one---when you reflect on what she does and what kind of attention it gets.

The site is a bit different to maneuver around, but well worth the time to view

BLACK . SNAKE. MOAN.

2008-06-22T10:11:00.015-04:00

Oh...My....
The title alone makes me want to powerwash my brain of sordid, libidinous, illicit, and politically incorrect thoughts...Thank God, I can't access a pressure cleaner.
It took me a couple of months to get around to placing this on my Netflix queue after having watched a trailer for it at Kat's house one afternoon. I do declare it caused ME to have a spate of the vapours, which notching up the ceiling fan and refreshing my Diet Coke barely alleviated. We both looked at each other and swore we would see THAT movie. Kat was the first and I made her swear not to spoil it for me under threat of NEVER being invited to the next fine dining and whining experience in my driveway.

How can I sum up the movie without spoiling it for those who may want to see it in the future? Well, first of all, let me tell you that I was expecting this just from the title before seeing the trailer

Then after seeing the trailer....I STILL thought it was similarly themed, except with a modern day twist.....but alas it was not . It was a love story....with the universal theme of love transcending all obstacles...with a twist.
Instead of a movie review/summary plot...I offer you some phrases that are associated with the movie.

My Fair Lady
mental health
mental illlness
anxiety
sexual abuse
promiscuity
football
football field
grass
Pygmalion
grass stains
dysfunctional families
stupid mothers
dirtbag stepfathers
Beauty and the Beast
Misery
pickup trucks
loyalty
alcohol
drugs
trailers
deep south
betrayal
religion
sex
black
white
racism, and obviously many, many, more.....
This movie is disturbing in the way a car accident is. You don't want to look, but you find it hard not to..

Could Y'all Pass Me the Monkey Dust ?

2008-06-21T07:53:00.012-04:00

Over the years, my friends have always heard me refer to seasoning my cooking with "Monkey Dust". Their eyes would get big, they'd swallow hard and ask me what the hell Monkey Dust was.
Did they think I kept 2 monkeys in the cabinet and rubbed them together over the pot to generate monkey dust? Or perhaps my smoking monkey taps his ashes into the sauce between stirrings?
Well, the term has a history, but I never went into it with them. I just tell them its a seasoning blend I had started using while living in the Glades and they simmer down real quick like. (Must be because I speak with an air of authority)

Yesterday, my friend Kat, who is spending the summer in her New York City pied `a terre, called and left a message on my cell phone. "What exactly is in Monkey Dust"? was the question. Hmmm..I really need to tell the story once and for all....and send her some cuz she won't find it up there in Yankee Land. I don't think anything with the word "Everglades" can be sold north of the Mason -Dixon line....It's IN the rule book...

Everglades Seasoning® "Food Seasoning" (a.k.a. Monkey Dust)

When Mess Sergeant Bill Gerstman arrived in Saipan in 1944, he encountered a situation which most thought had no hope. Gerstman found the soldiers of the 714th Rescue Mission so disgusted with eating only mutton and goat that they were dumping their rations into the sea.

Gerstman was raised on a small farm in Alabama and was taught that anything could be made to taste good if seasoned properly. In keeping with that philosophy, Gerstman began experimenting with various herbs and spices. The result was a secret recipe that not only satisfied the soldiers' appetites, but the delicious taste had them coming back for more. Soon the troops were using Gerstman's seasoning on mutton meatballs, eggs, vegetables, potatoes, and any other ration which required seasoning.
After completion of his military duties, Gerstman returned home to the states and resumed his trade as meat cutter/butcher at the LaBelle Trading Post in LaBelle, Florida. With spices and seasonings easier to obtain, he perfected his secret recipe, calling it Monkey Dust, to the delight of many customers who patronized the small general store.

In 1976, the secret formula was finally perfected, the famous logo was patented and EVERGLADES SEASONING was born. Gerstman seasoned local meats for years until, in 1985, he sold the recipe to Gene and Martha Cross, owners of the LaBelle Trading Post. For the next seven years, Gene and Martha Cross began distributing Everglades Seasoning in southwest Florida on a limited bases. During this period, sales grew steadily as word of mouth advertising was creating more demand for the secret recipe.

Later on when I moved away from the Glades area, I started using Badia Complete Seasoning, but continued to refer to it as Monkey Dust..because its easier...

Now...this morning I discovered a new favorite seasoning:

Cooter Rub !!!!!!!!

Can you imagine what fun I can have with this little phrase? and it starts tonight with the grilled fish....mmmmmmm

Whats Next? The Ovary Cook Off?

2008-06-14T20:23:00.004-04:00

Just when you thought you had heard it all, comes a festival for TESTICLES. I was reading the blogs I like since I had some time on my hands and went to Flack and Proud , because this blog never disappoints...sometimes I feel like we may have been separated at birth, but thats another theme...
I did not know that testicles got their own festivals and more surprisingly--in UTAH. I thought the Garlic fest was as wild as it got. Woohoo...a reason to say balls and testicles all weekend long, and think of witty tongue in cheek sayings...Sorry I missed it...but read that blog post and here is a link to the news story...film at 11.....
Have a ball....

Ohhhhh...So All This Time, We've Been Doing It All Wrong?

2008-06-06T07:08:00.009-04:00

I thought NOT wearing panties was the way to make a man powerless to resist you. All this time and trouble spent on pruning, trimming, waxing and plucking so that you could whisper in your partners ear, "I'm not wearing any panties" as a prelude to sex--unnecessary!!!!! It turns out that leaving them on will sap a mans energy and render him powerless-at . least. in. -Burma.

Apparently, regional superstition in Burma holds that touching a woman's panties or even their traditional sarong, will make men powerless. This knowledge has become the impetus for the Panties For Peace movement initiated by a group of women from a Burmese peace activist group called - Lanna Action for Burma which is based in Thailand and is symbolic in protest of Myanmar junta’s violent crackdown of monks-led rallies in Yangon last month, and to oust the generals ruling the country from power, because they are superstitious.

One pair of panties is good, but millions would be better, so you can see how this has spread into a global effort. Large. Huge... ****(okay, so Im thinking that this has got to work for those ladies that DON'T want sex as well, cuz if Mr. Man has to take your panties off, the act of touching them will zap his energy and you will be back to sleep in no time)

As for moi, I don't wear panties (I know, TMI), so I will share a game with you that I have been playing for an amount of time, that I will not divulge here, except to say that am CEO of the "Center for the Easily Entertained"-Put on your big girl panties and deal with it....

Sorry Gardens Mall---We WON'T be Ignored!!!!

2008-06-02T19:06:00.006-04:00

Here's an update of last weeks post about the Gardens Mall- I had written an email to the General manager of the mall and I get a call from a woman who is in charge of special events in response to the email. I tell her my story and she says to me that the mall has no such security measures in place and asks me for the exact date and time of the incident so she can investigate. She will get back with me shortly. When I get home, I have an email from WPTV which is the NBC affiliate here in West Palm Beach. Tim Malloy wants to interview me and makes a date to meet that night, but it gets postponed until the next day (Friday). that morning we meet, he interviews and films, asks me if there is any footage of my kids talking about the incident and how they felt, so we shot that and took it to him by his deadline. Before I leave the station, he tells me it will be on at 6pm.
I go home and watch the news later on that evening. The situation was tastefully handled on the stations end, with the simple request of an apology to my students to put it to rest. The Gardens Mall on the other hand, had some canned comment about how security measures being in place for the protection and well being of the public, blah, blah, blah.... No responsibility, no acknowledgement, no apology and of course no return phone call....

We have made many partnerships with influential, affluent groups and communities who support our efforts to increase the chances of success in the future with the students at my school. The ones that have heard about the incident are shocked and disappointed that the Gardens Mall would support such discriminatory practices. They are hot about it and are actively spreading the word among community members, friends, and family. I'm sure the Palm Beach post may get wind of it as well, as they have covered many a success story at our school.

Oh, I'm sure that you are not worried...you have enough "ladies who lunch" and stay at home moms with a wallet full of credit cards, bent on immediate gratification to keep you afloat. A handful of teenagers who are trying to better themselves educationally and at the same time patronize your food court are inconsequential in your "big picture" (read: BOTTOM LINE).

All my students wanted was a validation of their feelings and an apology.......

""The measure of a civilization is how it treats its weakest members." Who said this? And is this an accurate quote?" You would be surprised at what I found...

"...the moral test of government is how that government treats those who are in the dawn of life, the children; those who are in the twilight of life, the elderly; those who are in the shadows of life; the sick, the needy and the handicapped. " ~ Last Speech of Hubert H. Humphrey

"A nation's greatness is measured by how it treats its weakest members." ~ Mahatma Ghandi

"Any society, any nation, is judged on the basis of how it treats its weakest members -- the last, the least, the littlest."
~Cardinal Roger Mahony, In a 1998 letter, Creating a Culture of Life

The greatness of America is in how it treats its weakest members: the elderly, the infirm, the handicapped, the underprivileged, the unborn. ~Bill Federer

The ball's in your court, Gardens Mall....Do the right thing....for MY students surely did....

Happy Memorial Day???-----Wake Up Folks!!!!!!

2008-05-26T08:23:00.005-04:00

Memorial Day is a United States Federal holiday observed on the last Monday of May (in 2008 on May 26). Formerly known as Decoration Day, it commemorates U.S. men and women who perished while in military service to their country. First enacted to honor Union soldiers of the American Civil War, it was expanded after World War I to include casualties of any war or military action.

While the original intent of the Day of Remembrance is to "remember, reflect and honor those who have given their all in service to their country", by holding parades, ceremonies, selling poppies and visiting cemeteries, this holiday has eroded into a 3 day weekend of beaches, BBQing and sporting events (the Indianapolis 500 has been held in conjunction with Memorial Day since 1911).

My friend Kat designed her own Memorial Day Remembrance activities. She prepared the traditional fare of hamburgers, hot dogs, sweet corn and macaroni salad. For dessert a red velvet cake with white frosting in between layers and topped with blueberries. Very patriotic of her. and for holiday related entertainment, she had this movie which is available immediately (no waiting to download) to view on Google Video--> Zeitgeist (Feb2008) 122-minutes long

Zeitgeist-> a German expression that means "the spirit of the age". Literally translated Zeit = Time and Geist = Spirit; it describes the intellectual and cultural climate of an era. "Zeitgeist" refers to the ethos of a select group of people, that express a particular (predominantly post-modern) world view, which is prevalent at a particular period of socio-cultural progression.

I watched this movie yesterday as part of MY Memorial Day activities. It was informative, educational, validating and truly served to piss me off. It should piss you off if you are not adverse to a bit of critical thinking with your holiday weiner and beer.

My advice...watch it in parts if you need to, but watch it. The site also lists ALL the sources for ALL the information in the video. You SHOULD read further to educate yourself. The movie should only serve as a springboard to get your mind working....okay, maybe after that weiner and beer(s)...you should watch it another day---But watch it!!!

Oh...and Happy Memorial Day y'all.......

This movie is about 2 hours long, and the final remastered edition is different from the 2007 version because of the 5 minutes of monologue prefacing the start of the movie. Thats the only difference, so if you do not want to hear it, go to the first google video search result or move that little thingy over to the right a hair about 4-5 minutes worth....

Discriminatory Mall Practices

2008-05-24T10:54:00.004-04:00

Last week, I took a "field trip " with my students to the Gardens Mall in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida . The objective was community based instruction in the domain of Recreation/Leisure. In other words something to do when you have nothing to do- that is safe, cheap and socially acceptable.
We were a group of 7 people--- 5 students, age17-19 and 2 adults teachers. Upon our approach to the mall entrance after the school bus dropped us off, a security guard walks up to us with a pad and pen. She wants to know who we are, where we are from, what we are doing here, how long will we be? I asked her why she needed that information. The response was that it was to keep us safe?!?! Safe? From what? Should we get back on the bus? Did they expect an unsafe situation? WHAT??????? Im asking her stupid questions, but what I really wanted to ask was....

Would you have approach the group of senior citizens from Century Village with your questions as they piled out of their 21 passenger van?

If a bus from a Christian private school pulled up, would you have asked them the questions?

If my kids came off the bus in wheelchairs would you have asked those questions? (My students are severely disabled, but not physically)

If my kids were WHITE would you have asked those question?

Are you asking me these questions because my students AND the adults with them are predominantly BLACK and HISPANIC ?

Okay-I know what your thinking: 9/11, homeland security, holidays murders at a mall in Boca (and you know how I feel about THAT quaint little town), whole families arrested over pants wearing at Wellington Mall, but this is different.....This left a sick , angry, dirty feeling in my gut the entire time I was in that mall. The worst part was that when that security guard started asking questions, my students body language spoke volumes. They immediately looked like they shouldn't be there-like they didn't belong. Like their place was the 45th street Flea market, or the Flea market at Sample road in Broward county--with others of their socio- economic background or uh hum- ethnicity. Did I mention that they were all dressed in appropriate work attire as is my condition whenever we are out in the community? The entire school years work of learning confidence and bolstering self esteem to become productive and fully participating members of mainstream society-- not undone but definitely eroded at a Mall entrance. Shame on you Gardens Mall Security.
*I have sent an email to the General Manager of the mall, asking him to email me so I may discuss this incident and the impact it has made. In my email, I made it clear to him that this was not over and that I welcomed the opportunity to speak with him before taking the issue further.
Action5 anyone?

I teach Life Skills to SED high school students, many of which are or have been in foster care (due to abuse or neglect) and will be transitioning to independent living situations in which they will be caring for themselves. Much of their lives they have been marginalized by various people and agencies. Re-training them to think for themselves and to think GOOD things about themselves and their future is a difficult task, but not an impossible one.

Craig-The Legend!!

2008-05-20T20:19:00.006-04:00

The responses are coming in...and it's not looking good for Craig....I'll be posting email/craigslist responses here and maybe even Craigs comments--if he can tear himself away from all those adoring women in his life......

Craig must have gotten upset and alerted Craigslist because they took off my original post. I'm going to ASSUME that its because I tried to sneak in the name of my blog...so, I reposted without it, but let people know that they could email me and I'd be happy to hook them up....Someone else posted a "love letter" to Craig and it was deleted from Craigslist as well.

BUT...I saved it before they did...LOL. Take a look-->

TO: Craig Ries Liar defamer, libeler, slanderer; perjurer; distorter (BOYNTON)
Reply to: mailto:pers-688656175@craigslist.org?subject=TO:%20Craig%20Ries%20Liar%20defamer,%20libeler,%20slanderer%3b%20perjurer%3b%20distorter%20(BOYNTON)Date: 2008-05-20, 7:13PM EDT
Your many posts are the world's greatest proof of reincarnation; no one could get that dumb in just one lifetime. How about writing that crap into proper syntax, form, and grammar so that I can at least understand what you are saying before I dismiss it? No doctor is that dumb to write that many lies and think they would get away with It... It seems your fingers not only did your typing, but did your thinking too. Have you considered suing your brain for non-support? You wouldn't know a clue if it walked up to you, bit you on the ass, and announced 'I AM A CLUE'. A long period of non-posting would be most welcome on your part. As Ellen Glasgow once remarked: "He knows so little and knows it so fluently." What possessed you to think that you were capable of being entertaining or interesting to woman? You are the kind of person who, when one first meets you, one doesn't like you. But when one gets to know you better, one hates you. Maybe you wouldn't come across as such a jellyfish-sucking mental midget if your brain cells weren't on the Endangered Species list from smoking all that pot you call 420; if you weren't so stupid that even single-celled organisms out score you in IQ tests; or if you didn't have a face that makes Medusa look like a supermodel. Who am I kidding? You would. I have news for you woman are smart and will figure you out quickly! I also want you to know I am a close friend and ex boyfriend to the woman that you slandered calling names and posting fake nude photos of. The fact is she is the nicest most honest person I know and you never even met the her. In conclusion, why don't you go away and play Russian roulette with all chambers fully-loaded?
Location: BOYNTON

Im thinking Craig may be up for awhile getting things removed from CL--ah well, such is life.....Stay tuned--> Im sure its not over....

Wednesday 5PM----Just emails looking for my blog site to read....
Wednesday 5:30PM--I spy:

OH NO~ Who Luvs Kravis Center Wellington Man 35 seeks --SICKO CRAIG (SLIMIEST CREEP ON CL)
Reply to: mailto:pers-689286163@craigslist.org?subject=OH%20NO~%20Who%20Luvs%20Kravis%20Center%20Wellington%20Man%2035%20seeks%20%20--SICKO%20CRAIG%20%20(SLIMIEST%20CREEP%20ON%20CL)Date: 2008-05-21, 10:20AM EDT
STOP CRAIG STOP! We have exposed you for the lunatic you are all over CL. You can't even rememeber your fucking AGE (sometimes you're 38 (and have been for years) sometimes 35. Sometimes you're a 'doctor' (but know NOTHING about medical terminology) sometimes a realtor. If a woman rejects you, you post FILTHY PORN PICS of "her" claiming she wanted fake boobs. (YOUR WORDS) You don't have money, polo ponies, planes or even a BRAIN. You're a sick SICK person and you need psychiatric help.
Location: SLIMIEST CREEP ON CL
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Wednesday 6:30 PM--More email looking for the blog addy. (This lady even prepared herself with chocolates and popcorn before settling down to read---ain't that cute?)
AND the last one of the evening...and it appears that it is from Craig to Me....sigh.....

Who Luvs Starbucks? MD / 35seeks $tarbucks Companion+420 - - 35 (Wellington check out my new pics) "poloman4life06@aol.com" to me
poloman4life06@aol.com has forwarded you this craigslist.org posting.Please see below for more information.
Who Luvs Starbucks? MD / 35seeks $tarbucks Companion+420 - Reply to: pers-690184897@craigslist.orgDate: 2008-05-21, 9:44PM
Recently single very cool Doctor NOT looking for any drama...Seeking Single super hot Female only reply w/ clear full body clothed pic and I will reply. I love my favorate Caffè Misto Café Au Lait and steamed milk I also like Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha after I smoke a 420 fattie. Hope to see you soon. Please reply with your number I am in surgery all day tomorrow and prefer not to wasting time emailing and have tons of mins to use up on my cell... Dont be a hater... Craig
Location: Wellington check out my new pics
Original URL: http://westpalmbeach.craigslist.org/m4w/690184897.html -------------------------------------------------this craigslist posting was forwarded to you by someone using ouremail-a-friend feature - if you want to prevent these, please go to:http://www.craigslist.org/cgi-bin/te/r52blVmbnB0cpFWbj5CbA02bF <--This is NEW...hmmm

Warning Ladies..."Mr Wonderful" Is Back on Craigslist!!

2008-05-20T17:29:00.009-04:00

In the past 3 years, I have had the dubious pleasure of experiencing entertainment from what can only be called "selective amnesia-dementia-stupida with a secondary diagnosis of ego -grande -inflatus", apparently fueled by entirely too much 420 activity. Yup...rightcheer on Craigslist...imagine that.
Long story short: There is a guy named Craig- I shit you not-who periodically will post on Craigslist (all over the place) and present himself as a doctor, boater, surgeon, etc looking for a mate, soulmate, yada yada yada....

Well, he's back and although you will see that other ladies have posted on CL to out him...Im going to go one step further. Im going to blog about him here and then send him an email and invite him to check it out. I have no doubt that instead of pissing him off...this will serve to further inflate his ego. Thats okay...im sure he has nothing else to bring to the bed, er um...table.

Who Luvs Kravis Center Wellington Man 35 seeks Companion +420 - 35 (City Place on the 22nd)
Reply to: mailto:pers-687752655@craigslist.org?subject=Who%20Luvs%20Kravis%20Center%20Wellington%20Man%2035%20seeks%20Companion%20+420%20-%2035%20(City%20Place%20on%20the%2022nd)Date: 2008-05-20, 6:48AM EDT
Recently single and NOT looking for any drama...I have two tickets 4 JEWISH PRINCESSES OF COMEDY on the 22nd Thursday at 8:00 PM. We can go th dinner at ruth chris first...Single super hot Female only reply w/pic and I will reply. 420 only This is his post and these are the pics in the post.....and if this is all there was to it, i guess it would be innocent enough. Instead he has posted vulgar pics of women on the Craigslist later on and wrote that it was YOU!!!

Now, lets read some of the posts from the ladies (remember women scorned?)

YIKES Who Luvs 420? Wellington Man 35 seeks Boating - SICKO PSYCHO (CRAZY CRAIG THE LOON IS BACK)
Reply to: mailto:pers-687916864@craigslist.org?subject=YIKES%20Who%20Luvs%20420%3f%20Wellington%20Man%2035%20seeks%20Boating%20-%20SICKO%20PSYCHO%20(CRAZY%20CRAIG%20THE%20LOON%20IS%20BACK)Date: 2008-05-20, 10:31AM EDT
RUN GIRLS RUN. THIS SICK NUT has been blasted off CL for years. He was "38" years old 4 years ago. He is NOT polo player. He does NOT own horses or a boat even his pictures are ancient. As soon as you refuse him he posts pics of some girl with her legs SPREAD and says you asked him for fake boobs (his words) and that you're a crack whore. He doesn't even remember his own lies. Doesn't remember his age. Sometimes he's a "doctor" (ask him medical questions, he hasn't a clue!) then a realtor then .... He's a complete psychotic creep. He's creeped out women all over CL. WE keep exposing him to keep you SAFE.

RUN==Who Luvs Kravis Center Wellington Man 35 -PSYCHO CRAIG IS BACK (RUN LIKE HELL)
Reply to: mailto:pers-687912045@craigslist.org?subject=RUN==Who%20Luvs%20Kravis%20Center%20Wellington%20Man%2035%20-PSYCHO%20CRAIG%20IS%20BACK%20(RUN%20LIKE%20HELL)Date: 2008-05-20, 10:31AM EDT
Hey CRAIG did you forget your AGE??? It was 38 THREE Years ago!!!! THIS GUY IS a NUT ladies. He lies about his age, his profession (he tried being a "doctor" once but couldn't even discuss medical terminology) then a realtor then a Polo player. He's totally NUTs and has been run off every city on CL. His pics are OLD, and when you reject him he posts pictures of some poor girl with her legs spread and says it's YOU and that you want 'fake boobs'. This guy is the lowest sickest SCUM BAG NUTCASE on CL. RUN RUN RUN LIKE HELL. CRAIG GO BACK TO THE PSYCH WARD AND TAKE YOUR MEDS!!!!

And...the latest one from him....TODAY

Who Luvs Starbucks? MD / 35seeks $tarbucks Companion+420 - (WELLINGTON /VERSAILLES)
Reply to: mailto:pers-688456136@craigslist.org?subject=Who%20Luvs%20Starbucks%3f%20MD%20/%2035seeks%20$tarbucks%20Companion+420%20-%20%20%20(WELLINGTON%20/VERSAILLES)Date: 2008-05-20, 4:51PM EDT
Recently single very cool Doctor NOT looking for any drama...sEEKING Single super hot Female only reply w/ clear full body clothed pic and I will reply. I love my favorate Caffè Misto Café Au Lait and steamed milk I also like Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha after I smoke a 420 fattie. Hope to see you soon. Craig

This is the one Im responding to with an invite back to my place...uh...blog :) Come back to keep up with the adventures of "Craig-A Legend In His Own Mind!!!!!"

******This is a copy of the one I just placed a moment ago on Craigslist -----LOL -Enjoy!!****

Craig!!!!...Daaahhhllling!!!!
Reply to: mailto:pers-688618377@craigslist.org?subject=Craig!!!!...Daaahhhllling!!!!Date: 2008-05-20, 6:42PM EDT
Hey Craig: Hows it going? I read with great interest your latest round of fiction disguised as personal ads. While I have followed your exploits rather unobtrusively from the sidelines and because your sad story is infinitely more interesting (okay-tabloidish) than what I had previously planned on blogging about (discriminatory practices at local malls), today I have decided to join the ranks of thse other ladies who deem it appropriate to "out" you. im not only responding to your ad here to OUT you, but you are my feature today on the blog. In addition to sending you this, i will also copy and paste this to Craigslist to ensure MAXIMUM exposure, thus assisting you in getting all those responses you are truly waiting for. No, no need to thank me. The pleasure is all mine, I can assure you.....If you would like to comment, please feel free-only do it on the blog where everyone can benefit from your experience.. www*onknees*blogspot*com

New Home Business Opportunity-No Startup, Inventory or Overhead

2008-05-19T06:36:00.003-04:00

Add this to gas prices, foreclosure rates and the cost of rice as an economic indicator: the number of tips to the police from people hoping to collect reward money.

Cities and towns from one end of the US to the other, all report increases with tipsters telling operators they need the money for rent, light bills or baby formula.

As a result, many programs report a substantial increase in Crime Stopper-related arrests and recovered property, as callers turn in neighbors, grandchildren or former boyfriends in exchange for a little cash.

On Friday, a woman called the Regional Crime Stoppers line in Macon, Ga., to find out when she could pick up her reward money for a recent tip. She was irritated to learn that she would have to wait until Monday.

For tips that bring results, programs in most places pay $50 to $1,000, with some jurisdictions giving bonuses for help solving the most serious crimes, or an extra “gun bounty” if a weapon is recovered. In many places, the average payment for a tip that results in an arrest is $400.

Usually authorities deliver the money in an unmarked car and meet in a mutually agreed upon place, he said. But in these tight economic times, people go right to the office and walk right through the front door to collect their reward.

Crime Stoppers programs strictly protect the anonymity of callers. Each tip is assigned a number, and if the tip results in an arrest, the caller can collect a cash reward, usually by going to a designated bank. Some programs pay tipsters within hours of an arrest; others have monthly meetings to approve reward amounts.

Some people have made a cottage industry of calling in tips. Although repeat callers do not give their names, operators recognize their voices.

Two or three arrests per week, you could make $700, $750 per week. You could make better than a minimum-wage job.

In some cases, the quality of the tips is lagging as people grasp for any shred of information that might result in an arrest. A woman in Macon, for example, recently called to report that a family member — who was wanted for burglary and whose name and address were already known to the police — was at home. His home.

Places with quick payments and particularly bleak economic conditions tended to report increases in call volume. Lee County, Fla., had the highest rate for home foreclosures in the United States in February and March, and its once-plentiful construction jobs have dried up.

Last week, the Crime Stoppers coordinator there, Trish Routte, got a call from a man reporting drug activity, a tip that paid him $450. It was his second call in a week, said Ms. Routte, who recognized the caller’s voice.

“He told me he really didn’t want to call but he just had a new grandbaby and he needed the money,” Ms. Routte said.

Economic problems for families, Ms. Routte acknowledged, were good business for Crime Stoppers. “We’re kind of banking on that, really,” she said. “If it helps put dinner on the table for somebody, that’s wonderful.”

Florida Vacation Homes--starting at $37.46 per month !!!

2008-05-14T06:15:00.008-04:00

Housing crisis? We don't got no stinkin housing crisis!! Right here in South Florida, a vacation home can be had for $37.46 including tax!! And guess what? There is no shortage of them!! What do you get for the money? Wait til you hear this....

Public Storage in picturesque Lake Worth, Florida offers a 5 x 5 unit, air conditioned, energy efficient, hurricane proof, efficiency apartment in a gated community environment with 24 hour security surveillance via video cameras both indoors and out.

How did I stumble on this best kept secret?( the key word here, being "stumble"...) Well, I am the proud owner of a unit in this same Public Storage facility, pay $37.46 a month to store my extra household items in it. One evening I went to the facility in preparation for a yard sale the next day. Upon entering the inner corridor leading to my unit, I noticed there was someone else in their unit, across the hall and 2 "doors" down. I complete my business and leave. Two nights later, I return again to store the items that did not sell. Guess what? My neighbor is there again!! I casually stroll by, perhaps to say hello or borrow a cup of sugar. Well, the door is open, the lights are on, and my neighbor is sitting in his unit in a camp chair, reading!! I have seen this gentleman before...under the I-95 overpass....panhandling. Obviously a snowbird from up north on the lower end of the socioeconomic ladder. Well, not wanting to disturb, and being a good neighbor, I lock my unit and leave.

On my drive home, my mind is racing with thoughts about what a deal this is, and how it can be duplicated in other cities... One story? 2 stories? In larger metropolitan cities..Penthouse digs?

And how about a larger space? For the transient traveler with family? The solutions are numerous.

Just like traditional housing rentals offer incentives like "1st month free", so do many public storage facilities.

As you can see for yourself, the design and placement of these various living communities are perfectly suited for the introvert as well as the extrovert.

AND...I was saving the best for last....there is one in Hawaii that made the news for their ginormous investment in partnering with a mosaic artist to render their facility to be more like a resort!!! A RESORT!! See the pic below of the artist and if you are interested in beginning to plan for that dream vacation in Hawaii and are interested in how much a months stay might run you...I have included the article for your perusal..

Well, what are you waiting for? Pack up the kids, the car and the little woman!!! Vacations in exotic locations are no longer for the rich and famouse. You too can be inviting the gang back apres ski for some hot toddys or charades...you can afford it...you're living large on about a dollar a day....

Happy Mothers Day!!---I think this video says it all...

2008-05-11T08:19:00.002-04:00

The Glass Ceiling...Who's On Top Now?

2008-05-02T05:46:00.004-04:00

Hard to believe, but if we were going to place little cartoon figures at the very top of this cartoon, we would be placing MORE women. That's right...WOMEN.

Women are still NOT supporting each other. In fact, in many cases they are making work and life in general HARDER. Why? I just don't know. I'm not saying that women should be so nurturing and emotional to each other that we become unable to competently do our jobs, but I suggest that we share, mentor, assist, advise, or collaborate with each other and give credit where credit is due. Superficiality and insensitivity between women especially in a boss: staff relationship robs both people of the opportunity to live authenticly and help each other on a few levels.

I went searching for concurring opinions on other blogs and here is what I found: http://journeytothirty.wordpress.com/ A woman boss= an awful experience "I think that many successful women have major unresolved issues that they feel the need to take out on those who work for them, especially if that individual is of the same gender. It’s that whole, I paid my dues, so you must now pay yours mentality. But does this really explain why so many women bosses are just so damn bitchy? Out there in the rat race, why can’t women be nurturing and caring? I don’t want another mother, that’s not what I’m saying. But, please someone tell me, where are all the mentors? Why are women bosses so freakin’ mean?"

http://www.propeller.com/ Women Bosses more Likely to Discriminate against Female Employees than Male Bosses! "Women bosses are significantly more likely than men to discriminate against female employees, research has suggested.
The study found that when presented with applications for promotion, women were more likely than men to assess the female candidate as less qualified than the male one.
They were also prone to mark down women’s prospects for promotion and to assess them as more controlling than men in their management style.
The findings, based on experiments carried out among more than 700 people, suggest that the “queen bee syndrome” of female rivalry in the workplace may sometimes be as important as sexism in holding back women’s careers."

and lastly, from across the pond....

http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/ Sugar: Women bosses are more ruthless than me Apprentice boss Sir Alan Sugar claims female employers are more ruthless than their male counterparts.
He says women bosses are more likely to discriminate against mothers and less inclined to consider employing them.
The businessman, whose reality TV show The Apprentice returns to BBC1 tonight, added: "Be under no illusion. There are women employers who are more ruthless than men.
"They are more conscious of not employing other women because they feel they're not going to get the value of work out of them."
Sir Alan, executive chairman of electronics firm Amstrad, said it was only fair that employers asked female workers about their plans to have children.
"I think it's right for women to volunteer the information," he said. " Companies have no divine duty to help with childcare, companies employ people. It's the Government's responsibility to provide childcare." But his comments caused anger among women bosses, including Erika Watson, executive director of Prowess, the association for female entrepreneurs.
She said: "Dinosaur attitudes like these threaten the UK's competitiveness. Too many talented women are not achieving their potential in the workplace because of the discrimination such attitudes encourage."
Glenda Stone, co-chair of the Government's Women's Enterprise Task Force, added: "When men are ruthless, they are seen as assertive, but when females are, they are seen as aggressive."

Reading these accounts and observing that this may be the status quo, does not make me feel any better. I am quite disillusioned with what the future may hold. I have a career that I enjoy immensely, in a location that is very conducive to creative productivity and that I would like to be involved in for a long time. However, the moment that I feel as if I am not wanted anymore, I will not wait for my boss to pick, scratch and gnaw away at my self confidence. I know who I am, what I bring to the table and will take my offerings to someone who will appreciate it- and who will appreciate me.

Re: Mariah's Reaction to " Ken Lee"

2008-04-23T23:41:00.010-04:00

Before I start...I have to tell you that I did NOT know that Mariah Carey was my son's favorite singer....AND, you would need to know that my son is 25 and since the age of 13, his "favorite " singers have been rap and hip hop performers. Therefore, I have been schooled on this bit of PatrickHistory.

So...the only thing I have to say is that...Mariah Carey is a Class Act (Notice she did not have a CLUE what was being said, but who cares? her hair looked FABULOUS!!)....
Her comments on this individual that was performing a song in her style was supportive and indicative of her expansive nature...Bravo Mariah!!!!

A Town Exclusively for Postal Workers....Im Scared

2008-04-22T06:35:00.003-04:00

In yesterdays local newspaper, The Palm Beach Post, there was an article about a town in Florida, called Nalcrest. The name comes from NALC-rest : National Association of Letter Carriers-rest. How very apropos, no?
Here is my concern: Considering the history (deserved or not) of mail delivery persons "losing it" or "going postal" if you will, the thought of them all being together in one town strikes me as either being very smart or very stupid. I know I'm going to get some hate mail for this, but that's okay...I'm fearless when things strike me as funny.
From a mental health perspective the towns inhabitants may be calmer (of course they are retired) after years of meeting the USPS credo of, "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night, stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds", they no longer need to worry about snow-okay, 1 out of 4 ain't exactly good odds, but this is Florida. They can empathize with each other, de-escalate feelings of agitation, tell jokes and stories about their old route customers, the opportunities for cameraderie overfloweth.
But, since I like to play devils advocate most of my waking hours, the chance of someone going over the deep end, also exists. The mild mannered letter carrier next door could snap his rubber band and take out the whole town.
And while Im on the subject, I didn't notice if this town has a movie theater, but if they did, I have a list of movies that would be relevant:
The Postman (1997) with Kevin Costner
Il Postino (1994) Foreign
Postman Pat Comedy
The Postman Always Rings Twice (1981) with Jack Nicholson

The Barefoot Mailman (1951)

** The Barefoot Mailman is a real story!!! and its pretty good reading

You get the point, lots of choices to bond over and just as many to shoot your neighbor over...In that case, would that open up the rental market at this very exclusive zip code up to a new industry of retired workers? Perhaps-- Dentists!!!! Dentists have a high rate of suicide.....Perfect!!! They will only off themselves and not others!!!
Excuse me while I get my bullet proof vest on.

Big Dreams.....Get Yourself on the New York Times Bestseller List

2008-04-10T09:06:00.003-04:00

Who doesn't want the recognition? Everytime you sit down to post to your blog, you do it with the expectation that people want to hear what you want to say.... You check those stats, make it entertaining as well as informative, you keep the "junk" down to a minimum, and read and post comments others blogs in the hope that they will return the favor.
How do you know you have made it? That what you have to say matters? When you see your name attached to a book you have written, and its listed on the New York Times bestseller list.
I have an idea for a book-perhaps more academic that recreational reading, but I can guarantee that its a NECESSARY book. I know this because I teach Life Skills to teenagers and I can tell you that the 3 R's of learnng are important, but man, if you cannot cook, budget money, wash clothes, interview for work, use public transportation, etc. you are very umprepared to live life as an independent citizen.
So, I have this idea and even have a few catchy titles I'm considering, but where to start? What do I need to know? How will people know I have written a book? Do I need a publisher? These and more urgent questions and answers to them can be found in John Kremer's How to Create a New York Times or Amazon.com Bestseller . Even if you don't plan on publishing something soon, this tool is invaluable in preparing you for this momentous occasion. Here is what John Kremer has to say...

“The New York Times bestseller list is essentially a work of fiction.” says John Kremer, author of 1001 Ways to Market Your Books. “As a result, it can be — and is — manipulated by those who know how the list is compiled. Publishers do it all the time. Now, even an unknown author can use the same techniques to propel his or her book to the top of the bestseller list.”

This authors website is full of useful information you can use right now, once you visit it, I'm sure you will be convinced of his expertise and find yourself returning to him time and time again for inspiration.

Presenting "Ken Lee"--No relation to Bruce Lee.....

2008-04-05T18:48:00.003-04:00

Now...a GREAT reason not to avoid watching American Idol. I used to stop at the auditions, thinking that was the best entertainment. Apparently other countries renditions of American Idol are as funny if not more.....I won't put any more on here, because I think this is a good example of a "buffalaxed" american song.....

Kate and Annette...2 Real Pissers...No...REALLY...Im serious....

2008-04-04T18:43:00.002-04:00

Hey there faithful readers and even you one-night-standers (and you know who you are ...). Today was the day before the beginning of our spring break ( and man do we NEED it).
The policy at our school is that we dress professionally, eschewing blue jeans in favor of more business casual attire. Reasonable, right? I think so...and so do the other staff members.

But not Kate...she wears her jeans most days...but in the interest of fair play, I have to tell you that she is our Certified Behavior Analyst and in keeping with her duties, she may be wrestling kids around some days, thus her practical choice in clothing.

Well, on Thursday, someone asked one of the administrators whether they could wear jeans on Friday. the response was that we could have if Kate had not worn her jeans on Thursday. But he would be willing to make a deal. Staff members could wear jeans on Friday ONLY if Kate wore a dress on Friday.

Well, I know Kate is a good sport, but I don't know how many other times she may be willing to wear a skirt, so I had to take a picture.....If she gets mad, I'll remove it...maybe...or not. Probably not.

About the pissers part ( I have to explain it). One of the MANY things that we have in common is that we are MOTHERS. Unfortunately, we also both have weak bladders....see where I'm going with this? Although we are both very busy, we do find time to hang out in the hallways and chat every once in awhile. In conversation we will inadvertently start talking about funny things, situations, people, administrators,,,NO , NOT administrators, and we will both end up doubled over. Not so much in laughter anymore as in trying not to pee in our pants. We actually spent a training session avoiding this. It didn't work.....

She is very good at what she does and I am very lucky to have her as a friend. Now if we only had time to attend Kegel Exercise sessions together...wait, no..maybe separately. Together would be counter-productive for us AND all the other participants.

Just a thought...No one wants to pee a lot, but how about if we could help people that were CONSTIPATED? What if just by hanging around Kate and I, people would get the urge to have a bowel movement? Think of it....less time on the toilet, less incidence of hemmorhoids, no more swimmy donuts on your car seat, etc.... Just a thought...

Just Announced!! New Spring Break Destinations!! All Inclusive!!

2008-04-02T17:31:00.007-04:00

Hold the presses and don't let the plane leave the gate!! Gone are the days of crowding your friends in a compact car pooling your money for gas, food, lodgings and the ever important--BEER..... I have it on good authority that if you break out those preppy/golf/country club type outfits, (or borrow mummys and poppys) such as this spiffy looking couple here has,you can PRETEND to be interested in buying extremely high end $3.5M+ homes in veddy, veddy, exclusive, communities.

But thats not all folks...nope. It seems that when a well heeled couple such as Muffy and Bif here express a desire to purchase one of these homes, they are invited to stay on the property, use the facilities and even run up substantial bills, all in the name of completing a possible real estate transaction. Sometimes they even have on-site designers at their disposal to move furniture around a house for hours on end to envision what it may look like. Then...when suspicion creeps in, they scurry off in the middle of the night. Apparently this is not an isolated incident, but has not happened frequently enough to warrant viewing prospective mega-mansion buyers as pond scum.
My response to my friends lament about being naive and never thinking it could happen here, was to email him.....immediately.

Dear G:
That sucks ----Where do I sign up? Im on spring break next week and I would love to spend time at "__________" using their facilities and pretending to want to buy a home. Hang on while I dust off my clubs....BTW-is there a credit check? Can I blog about this wondrous opportunity? Can I bring a friend? or two? or 25?
Let me know,

My dearest A:

No, no backgound or credit check. This certainly falls under your "its not what you think" subject. Apparently these cats have done this same thing at other posh clubs in PB County and they are moving north. I will have a sales person call you for next week, lol!!!
Anyway that is my excitement for the day and it is only 7 am. How about you?

Take care,

So Spring Breakers, put away your cargo shorts and break out your Chinos and Madras shirts we're going to the club. Forget the beer, we're drinking Sapphire Gin Martinis. No wet t-shirts here----Backgammon's the name of the game. Unless of course the links are your style- the 19th hole adult beverages are gratis......at least until we raise a few eyebrows,that is- and then it will be time to get out of Dodge.....

Do the Nigerians Know That the Spanish Are Working Their Side of the Scam Street?

2008-03-29T17:12:00.005-04:00

The nerve of those Spaniards!!! Let them get their own country to scam!! the Americans are ours!!!! Back off buzzards!!! Haven't you seen the lovely interview that ABC news did about us?

My friend Kat (yes, the Kat of the"Wings" post) has sent me a disturbing email relating that she was the possible target of a scam!!! But wait....NOT NIGERIANS. Spaniards. From Barcelona. Specifically a section called Viladecans. Before i get started, please read Kat's email to me...

Hi Annette,
I checked my school email and have received yet another scam money laundering scheme. This one really annoyed me. so I went to the isp and found it was in a section of Barcelona called Viladecans. Now, I've always been fond of Barcelona, considering Gaudi and all. So I became a bit peeved. I became more peeved when I realized the language the web sit was written in was Catalan. ( Don't give a mindless challenge) So I doped it out and found out that Viladecans was a section of Barcelona. Well Barcelona has a mayor right? So I forwarded him my letter voicing my concerns when I couldn't find a contact email for the web site. For good measure I also sent it to Interpol.
K

Gentlemen:

I received this email from some "scam artist" at a website originating from viladecans.net. I do not read Catalan so I couldn't really read their web site. My Spanish is also a bit rusty. Google could not translate it. I hope you could forward this letter to let them know that a scam artist is attempting to commit fraud through the use of a viladecans web site. I don't think the people of viladecans want to be in the same group as the Nigerians. I hope that this email can find its way into the correct hands so that it will stop.

kathleen m

That Kat. nothing gets by her, boy. A mind like steal trap..You scammers better not mess with her. She'll sic the WORLD police on your ass.

I found this gentleman's solution to quite creative and certainly stopped the pesky correspondence problem. --> Hilarious Nigerian Scammer Story

Martin Lee -->He bit into some Nigerian spam - to fight it

419eater--> Thought it would be useful to video the scammers

In my search for creative ways to turn the tables on the scammers, I arrived at this site:

Scam-o-Rama . This is some funny stuff....I can't wait to get another scam letter so I can try some of these out...

And apparentlyits not just done through letters, but through dating sites as well.

US/Nigeria dating chat service

Now about those Spanish scammers.....

St. Patricks Day--Post Mortem

2008-03-18T07:15:00.004-04:00

We started celebrating the day before and into the wee hours the day of. I am up and ready to go to work after I post this...some (who shall remain nameless) came in prreeetttyyy late.....I won't mention any names, but he is the principal dancer in this charming vignette.....

Don't send a lame St. Patrick's Day eCard. Try JibJab Sendables!

Your College Dollars Hard At Work.....

2008-03-16T09:51:00.005-04:00

You know how it is...at least I do...you take on another job, increase your use of coupons, eat out less and generally tone down your usually raucous lifestyle so that sonny- boy (or in my case sonny girl) can get a quality education and transition socially into the adult world and become a well adjusted productive and contributing member of society.

Silly me, I thought wooden spoons were for administering well deserved spankings to the men in my life......

(I found this video at The (Mis)Adventures of a Single City Chick's blog. You should check her out!!!

Spitzer Spritzers...Poetic Justice for Martha?

2008-03-14T00:03:00.003-04:00

My friend Kat informed me that THIS was the guy that was instrumental in sending Martha away...so I think it is entirely appropriate that ............

Martha Stewart will be buying "Spitzer Spritzers" for friends this evening

at the Breakers Hotel in Palm Beach. She's down here, staying with friends. A friend from New York called her to give her the news, and it was reported in Jose Lambiet's column in the Palm Beach Post that she was ecstatic. From what I gather he went after her with great gusto and saw to it she did the time... You can read Jose's column right here.

Palm Beach Post-March 12, 2008:
If there’s one person who reveled in the news that New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer was in a world of hurt this week, it was domestic diva Martha Stewart.
Forget the housewife’s manners.
Several sources on both sides of Lake Worth are telling me Stewart was on The Island when she received a phone call from an unidentified employee in New York who told her Monday afternoon that Spitzer had been linked to an international prostitution ring.
He resigned today, but Stewart went out to celebrate in an unusual fashion Monday afternoon.
“She was gleeful,” says one well-placed source. “Few people had seen her this animated in a while.
“She said she’d celebrate at The Breakers with a round of ‘Spitzer spritzers.’”
Page 2.1 looked online for the ingredients of the drink, and asked Stewart spokeswoman Katherine Nash, but it must be something the ultimate homemaker isn’t printing in her magazines. There would be no comment.
Why would Stewart enjoy someone else’s misery?
Well, back in the early 2000s, New York’s young and ambitious State Attorney General Eliot Spitzer was making a name for himself in rooting out corporate corruption on Wall Street.
Meanwhile, Stewart was selling a large number of shares in the biopharmaceutical company ImClone shortly before the stock tanked. Stewart, now 66, saved about $45,000 — but got on regulators’ radar screens.
Spitzer almost single-handedly made it fashionable to go after big-deal CEOs as he fought a well-publicized turf battle with federal prosecutors in nailing the biggest fish.
Stewart fell in the federal net and served five months on insider trading-related charges four years ago — but it was Spitzer who kicked up the hornet’s nest that eventually had her bunk with hardened criminals.
Before she received her happy call, Stewart was spotted shopping on Antique Row, downtown West Palm Beach.
“I took her around,” said family friend and Antique Row store owner Judy Barron. “She never said anything about Spitzer to me. We spent a couple of hours going from store to store.”
Word is that Stewart got the call at the Palm Beach home of Lisbeth Barron, a Bear Stearns big and Judy’s sister. When reached at her $11 million home, Lisbeth declined comment.
One thing is sure, though: Seems that Stewart is more down to earth.
“She’s been here before and wasn’t the nicest person,” said Jeffrey Rafael, of Jeffrey-Marie Inc. on Antique Row. “She’s definitely humbled.”
Permalink

Something's Not Kosha In Boca --Part 2

2008-03-13T20:58:00.006-04:00

Hundreds seeking housing money overwhelm Boca Authority
(Palm Beach Post, March 13, 2008)

Okay heres the scenario--> The Boca Raton Housing Authority has Section 8 Vouchers to distribute. It advertises this wondrous event and advises that it will begin to distribute APPLICATIONS for vouchers at 9AM on Wednesday . (Keep in mind that at various locations in Palm Beach County, Section 8 (low income housing) is being torn down and families displaced without any replacement housing being constructed for those same low income families to move into).
People arrive from all over the place , some having driven very long distances (avg. price of gas =$3.37 for Regular Unleaded), some with their children. They are arriving before midnight, planning on camping out so that they can get an APPLICATION for a Section 8 voucher, which will put them on a list-if found eligible-that may have a 2 year waiting period. Before 2 AM the crowd is such that the nice people from the Housing Authority leave the comfort of their homes to come and give out 500 applications to the crowd, hoping it would keep the natives from getting too restless.
People in the know have informed me that their were only approx. 600 vouchers available, and that they did not have that many more APPLICATIONS printed to distribute.

Here's where I have a disconnect--> Knowing how bad the economy is-and I speak from a low middle income standpoint, why in God's name would you not print a couple of thousand APPLICATIONS to give to people who may be in dire straits and who have traveled long distances and waited many hours for the opportunity of APPLYING for a voucher , which if they are found eligible will only benefit them in about 2 years?
Was it because...GASP...GULP....because the delicate sensitivities of the Boca citizens may have been offended to have a mass gathering of black folk in one spot? Perhaps offended was not the right word. Perhaps leery, and scared might be more in line with the truth.
I don't blame these people for feeling murderous and for becoming defiant and challenging law enforcement. The City of Boca Raton did not plan this well. You give out 2, 000 applications, people are aware that there are only 600 vouchers available, they may NOT be found eligible, but its the chance you take. But for the City to be clueless about the kind of turn out they would have and then to resort to Police over-enforcement tactics is unconscionable. They should be ashamed of themselves.
Want to hear the real kicker? The people that were arrested, like this lady Angelica Rivera will now not be eligible because she was arrested. To see the slide show related to this posting, click here--> Botched Boca Block Party

A Sign of the Times?

2008-03-09T18:32:00.003-04:00

or creating bigger monsters than we already have by desensitizing youngsters to the value of a dollar and the ease of credit card use?

Look at what is replacing academic -related counting and budgeting skills. The items I have bolded are of particular interest.

• Game has been updated with modernized tokens, higher property values, favorite landmarks and credit cards replacing cash
• Game board comes with title deed cards, chance and community chest cards, 6 debit cards, 2 dice, 6 tokens, 32 houses, 12 hotels and instructions
• Now you can collect rent, buy properties and pay fines - with the touch of a button
• All it takes is a card swipe for money to change hands
• For ages 8 yrs. and up
• For 2-6 People

Call me a killjoy, and I know some people will read this post and think Im an absolute nutcase, but Im going to equate this to violent video games involving weapons and racist slants. I dont think that kids especially elementary and some middle school need to vicariously purchase things with a play debit/credit card machine that distances them from the actual activity of the counting, sorting and arithmetic involved to play this game as it was designed.

Kids are already detached from what it actually takes to earn money, deposit it in an account and then access it to buy things you want-after you have paid for the things you NEED. Here is another bullet Im going to have to dodge. Parents, who are already stretched to the limit at work may overcompensate for their absence in their kids lives by purchasing things for them out of a feeling of guilt--with----The swipe of a credit card!!!!!!

My own kids have said to me, after hearing "No, I have no money to buy that".--"Just use your card!!!!!"---and not understanding the connection of the card being tied to a balance in the bank!!

Let the shooting begin......

Wings? What the F**k For?....

2008-03-08T08:09:00.004-05:00

My friend Kat sent me this in an email, and as I'm feeling like I could tap dance all over a mans nether regions in stillettos this morning, i thought I would take the burst of creativity out on here....But first, let me draw your attention to the packaging of this oh-so-useful product with wings...

Why does that pad look like its making loop-de-loops and coming in for a landing? Landing where?

PS-->I do NOT wear underwear, so what the hell would I attach the darn wings too?

okay, perhaps i have been too hasty-If I attach them strategically directly to skin....then when I yank them off, i could have a always pretty bikini line...--hhhmm...well, If P&G steals my idea, Im gonna be pissed.......

This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jenifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you f*&^%$# kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

With a little Help From My Friends.....

2008-03-04T05:42:00.004-05:00

Joe must be cleaning out his hard drive our something, because its been like old home week these few days in my email and his blog..... This picture on his blog and the quaint explanation of who they are is just a small modest interpretation of the havoc these two caused for me when I was the "teacher" on this adolescent wing.I cant complain, I was in the thick of it, sometimes instigated it and always laughing along with the kids (the other staff however, thought we had snuck in the PATIENTS door and needed residential treatment ourself.....and we were all skinnier, broker, and perhaps happier at times...
Gerald-->"Hey Joe, can I borrow $20? and your car? and your shoes? I'll be back in 10 minutes, promise." Remember...might , mighty rattlers ssssssss.....

"Too gone for too long", I guess.....

2008-03-02T14:30:00.023-05:00

Think I may have been away too long? Apparently Joe and David think so....

A Boil On the Butt of Humanity

2008-02-21T22:54:00.011-05:00

Castro Steps Down, Castro's Dead, Castro's Fallen and Can't Get up.....
Does It Really Matter?...I Mean Really?

As a first generation American of Cuban immigrant parents, I should feel some sense of relief, but I don't. I am also too close to the subject to avoid getting emotional, as I have experienced my parents losses first hand: The loss of familial relationships, the frustration of knowing that your closest relatives need a particular medicine or treatment which you are able to pay for or provide, but you are not permitted to. The notification of the death of brothers and sisters, weeks and sometimes months after the fact. The confiscation of family land and businesses-never to be recovered. Separation of children and parents in order to go to work camps in the hopes it will aid in getting a visa to come here....the list goes on and on.

When I think about my parents courage in leaving their country and families in the 50's to come to the United States, its not the physical act of emigrating that I dwell on. The most courageous part is living here with the knowledge that your loved ones are doing without, may be politically persecuted, are being denied basic human rights all in the name of the Revolution....I wonder, if they had to do it all over again, would they make the same choice?

When the news that Castro had stepped down, I was not too excited, because unless you scrap everyone who supported that regime and install new, it is like a cancer that will never be completely eradicated. Cutting out some pathetic, sickly, senior citizen, and has-been revolutionary is like trying to pretend that perhaps a "different" Republican will make a difference in our own countries government. (Ouch-that hurt, Joe didn't it?)

In any case...thats my 2 cents, but before I leave you, I have collected a few other opinions from around the internet....have a look .....

Al-jazeera.net ( I know, I know)
Cubanology.com Anti-Fidel blogs
Faustas Blog
Future lawn Ornaments Finally, a use for this psychopath

I've heard it all, So have you....!

2008-02-16T08:08:00.004-05:00

While perusing the craigslist personal ads (yes, I do) I came across an ad which I will not copy here , but which has a part that summed up just about every type of pronouncement possibly uttered by some people responding to or posting to a personal ad.
I think its quite funny...and by the way, just to show you what a good sport I am, I will highlight the ones that I have heard personally.

Feel free to send me any you have experienced or ahem--any YOU may have used.

Here goes:

Teenie Boppers need not respond
I know you said you act much older than your 21 years of age.
I know at this stage of your life you need someone to travel with.
I know you prefer international travel.
No, I will not advance you money for your passport.

I know you just lost your high pay executive position with a new york advertising agency
I know you are extremely well educated with more degrees than a thermometer.

I know you are new to South Florida. I know your stage name is Nicole.
I know you're staying with your girlfriends Tiffany and Amber.
No, I dont want to meet you or your friends in a swinger bar.
No, I dont think you're a nassy, sleazy, stinky slut...

I know this is your first time posting on craigslist.
I know you would never lie.

I know your corporate donations fell because of the economy and youre seeking new sponsors from your many friends in the porn film industry.
No, I dont wanna see your videos.

I know youre fit, hardbodied, washboard abs, take karate lessons, kickboxing, go to the gym, ride your bike on the beach, lift weights, run marathons, but let yourself go temporarily.

I know youve never had sex and always carry the HIV aids test results to prove it.

I know you have 4 prominent protruding piercings and 3 tongue barbells, including the Delightful Destroyer, The Pecker Wrecker, and The Penis Punisher.
No, I dont wanna see your barbells.
I know you also have, 5 eyebrow clips, 6 tattoos, 7 self inflicted colorful decorations on various body parts, and 8 glow in the dark nipple rings.
No, I dont want to see you naked because you think it would excite me.

I know you like walks on the beach, candle light dinners, fine wine, movies, and you want someone to accompany you on a cruise with all expenses paid.

Yes, I know your craigslist posting is for real and no joke.
I know you're adventurous, admirable, affectionate, athletic, artistic, charismatic, generous, cheerful, dominant, desirous, eccentric, erotic, deserves pampering, in shape, friendly, smart, intellectual, dynamic, talented, timely, zany, zesty, successful, supportive, knowledgable, intelligent, witty, playful, youthful, attractive, flirtatious, feisty, submissive, sensitive, sexy, slim, good looking, sane, honest, spontaneous, creative, considerate, confident, concise, careful, thoughtful, kind, humorous, easygoing, open minded, respectful, responsible, responsive, romantic, reliable, challenge loving, career juggling, animal loving, certified outgoing, goal oriented, on top of the world, on top of your career, energetic, focused, independent, funloving, physical, playful, pleasant, pleasing, caring, compassionate, down to earth, well intentioned, solutions oriented, no gimmicks christian business woman with morals.!
Dayam, you missed one... Fulla Shit.
You're more fulla shit than a thanksgiving turkey....!

I know the man you're seeking must also be a professional, well read, educated in ivy league schools, financially stable, owns his home free & clear, knows what he wants, knows where he is in life, desires a woman of your caliber, knows how to treat a woman like the queen you and of course must be an honest upright moral christian like yourself.

I know you prefer a tall white man with a Mercedes.
I know my pic will get your pic
I know youve been strung along meeting men who lie.

I know you have 5 kids and just got out of an abusive adulterous relationship.
No, I wont buy you 5 boxes of extra large size pampers.
I know your kids shit on the sofa, peed on the porch and smeared feces on the fence.
I know the father of your brats forgot to send the court orderded support check this week and he's working in Saudi Arabia.

I know FPL turned off your electricity by mistake and you wanna sue them.
I know your cell phone is off because you went over your 99 alloted minutes by 2,750.
I know the cell phone company now wants $ 955 dollars, but its just a big mistake.
I know the furniture rental store took back the TV, Stereo, Couch, and the Microwave.
I know they took the TIVO too... I know you faithfully record every Jerry Springer Show.
I know you sent the payment a week early.
I know Jerry is gonna be pissed.
No, I wont cash a check for you.
I know you said the check is good.
No, I wont drive you to the check cashing place.
I know your friends Julio, Juan, Jorge, Leroy and Shaquita own the place, but operate from their apt.

I know you are looking on craigslist for your mom because you are tired of the the creeps she meets and you want to make her happy again.
I know you like older men.... I know you wouldnt dream of having sex for money.

I know your Jag was towed by mistake, now forced to drive your old car, you want me to fill your 30 gallon gas tank on your brown 78 oldsmobile with the green front fender, broken tailight and expired tag in exchange for a quickie, which is not sex to you.
I know youre behind on the Jag payment.
No I dont want to catch up the payments for you.
I know you want to get back on your feet.
When the finance company reposesses it, You'll be back on your feet.

I know you have a 30 year old girlfriend with pics on myspace who hasnt dated in 3 1/2 years because she hasnt found anyone worth dating.
No, I dont want to meet her.
I know shes still a virgin. No, I dont need a 30 year old virgin.
I know she's your best friend and she's a Certified Employee Assistance Professional, Licensed Alcohol and Drug Counselor, Level 1 Labor Assistance Professional, Certified Substance Abuse Counselor, and is Certified in Acute Traumatic Stress Management, Mental Health Recovery Drug Project Coordinator, Vice President of Operations, Certified Social Worker, Clinical Supervisor, Client Advocate, Director of Admissions, Critical Incident Stress Manager, Anger Management Gender Specialist and a Nationally Recognized Substance Abuse Court Liaison Therapeutic Activity Specialist....... Holy Shit...
The translation.....Your Basic 12 Stepper Bullshit Artist.

No, I dont wanna show you the town.
No, I dont wanna see what develops and where we go from here.
No, I dont wanna be friends.
No, I dont wanna lend you any money.
No, I dont need my house cleaned or anything else, including my bank account.

I know your landlord is a son of a bitch because your rent is 2 months behind.
No, I wont call your landlord.
No, I wont help you out just this one time.

I know you only except cash for in and out calls.
No, I dont need a professional, discrete massage in the genital area from a licensed las vegas masseuse with lotions, gels and portable massage table who practices aromatherapy in the comfort of her deluxe dania efficiency.
I know you use expensive chinese imported mexican incense.
Aroma Therapy is the stench of your bullshit you plaster on your pedestal poopsie.!
With your baggage honey, you should open an airport.
Im not the one for you sweetie.... Im not your shugah daddie

Whew..there you have it.....amazing......

Happy Valentines Day!!!!

2008-02-14T18:48:00.003-05:00

I love this day....and oddly, I love it more as a single person. The stress of trying to find the perfect gift, or go into debt trying to impress someone, who by the way, probably isn't worth it anyway if thats the way they measure your love for them, left me with more than just a bad taste in my mouth.

In my opinion, time is the most valuable thing you can get your sweetie for this holiday. We are all overworked, underpaid, perhaps underappreciated and definitely starved of "me" and "we" time. In addition it is still too close to the end of the last winter holiday season to fall victim again to the commercialization and hype of yet another gift giving event.

Time, sensitivity, consideration, a helping hand....all go along way towards expressing to someone that you care for them. Flowers and candy are nice, but if the day after Valentines Day you turn back into a selfish, self serving, crass, inconsiderate cave man (or woman) than you have missed the boat and I feel bad for your partner.

See the nice flower in the personalized holder above? Not only did I get this flower, but also the friendship of a funny, considerate, practical and caring man, who by the way is partnered with someone else, but nevertheless, has all the qualities I desire in a mate. He is considerate, helpful, caring and spends alot of time with his partner and thus explains the successful longevity of their relationship.

Whatever your relationship status....have a Happy Valentines Day....and don't overdo the chocolate :)

Tag!!!!!----You're It!!!!!!

2008-02-04T21:19:00.000-05:00

Oh, get over it. I know what you thinking and guess what? It's my blog and I'll tag if i want to, tag if I want, tag if i want to......and if you even mention this in the same breath as chain letters, I'll rip your lips off and put them where the sun doesn't shine. Let the fun begin.....

*Start Copy Here*You do not have to be tagged to play along. This game is simple and so are the rules.1. Copy from *Start Copy Here* through *End Copy Here*2. Add your site(s) to the list. Just be sure to post at each site you add.3. Tag or don’t tag, your choice, however, the more tags you create the bigger the list will grow.4. Let me know your blog’s name and url by leaving me a comment HERE. I will add you to the master list. (If you would like a scroll box code, leave me your email address and I will email it to you.) Scroll Box Example. (I decided not to use the box for the Big Bang for ease of copying.)5. Come back and copy the master list back to your site, often. This process will allow late-comers to get as much link benefit as the first ones in.

1-Attitude, the Ultimate Power 2-Juliana's Site 3-Rusin Roundup 4-Grow Rich Along With Me 5-Comedy Plus 6-lynda's loft 7-Amel's Realm 8-MAX 9-Speedcat Hollydale 10-Mariuca 11-Complain Complain Complain 12-Mariuca's Perfume Gallery 13-Life Is A Roller Coaster 14-Sugar Queen's Dream 15-First Time Dad 16-Life 17-My Life 18-The Painted Veil 19-My Thoughts 20-DatCurious.com 21-Little Aussie Cynic 22-A Nice Place in the Sun 23-DatMoney.com 24-The Down Side OF Up 25-Ladyjava's Lounge 26-Cat Tales 27-moms.....check nyo 28-Colorado Baby 29-It's a Woman's World 30-ENLIGHTENED BITS 31-My View of "It" 32-My Reviews and Finds Along the Way 33-Our Hep Chat 34-Rantings of a Woman 35-The Callalily Space 36-Mom Knows Everything 37-Hazel 38- Chronicles and Tales Unlimited (RED) 39-From the Mouth of Jabber Jaws 40-Sunny Side Up Foodie & Lifestyle 41-Carmel Corn 42-Daily Stock Picks 43-The Whole New World 44-Wifespeak 45-Slavery Bliss 46-Rooms of My Heart 47-Unpredictable Life 48-My Life, My World 49- At Your Service 50-All About Ebay 51-Everything Amazon 52-Turn On, Tune In, Drop Out 53-My So-Called Site 54-New Wife Blog 55-Tendre Poison 323 56-Nick's Bytes 57-My Scratch Pad 58-Choc Mint Girl 59-Life Is Just Around the Corner... 60-Amori, poseia, art... virtuali by Hanna 61-Maryannaville 62-monaco - monaco's 63-Nyumix's Blog 64-read my mind - my keyboard monologues 65-Shower You Children With Love - The Right Way 66-Secret Agent Mama 67-Pinaymama's Diary 68-Answers to the Questions 69-Work of the Poet 70-A Total Blog 71-My life, my hope, my future 72-NORTE 73-A Window to Our World 74-Life as a Mom 75-FIELD OF DREAMS 76-lisgold 77-See Me for What You 78-Caught in The Stream 79-Pinay Mommy Online - My Home 80-foster me up 81-CRUEL VIRGIN 82-Garden of Moments in Blog 83-So Cute 84-Love Everlasting 85-WeLcOmE To My CriB 86-WELCOM TO PINAYSMILE'S JOURNEY 87-Ice's Icelog 88-Jenny's Wandering Thoughts 89-Hobbies and Such 90-Sweet Paradise 91-Mommy's Gibble Gabbles 92-Rusin Review's 93-My Small World 94-Little Peanut 95-Online Ramblings 96-My Mood My Feeling 97-BLOG it with ALLEN 98-Entertainment World 99-Let's Go Singapore 100-Firelynx 101-Catsy Carpe Diem 102-Every Beat Of My Heart 103-Always Da Fresh Princess 104-Listening.. 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Come Fly With Me .......and Pack Light !!!!!!

2008-01-31T06:32:00.000-05:00

This just In....

Fly Naked on Germany's First Nudist Holiday Flight
Filed at 6:03 a.m. ET

FRANKFURT (Reuters) - German nudists will be able to start their holidays early by stripping off on the plane if they take up a new offer from an eastern German travel firm.
Travel agency OssiUrlaub.de said it would start taking bookings from Friday for a trial nudist day trip from the eastern German town of Erfurt to the popular Baltic Sea resort of Usedom, planned for July 5 and costing 499 euros ($735).
"It's expensive, I know," managing director Enrico Hess told Reuters by phone. "It's because the plane's very small. There's no real reason why a flight in which one flies naked should be more expensive than any other."
The 55 passengers will have to remain clothed until they board, and dress before disembarking, said Hess. The crew will remain clothed throughout the flight for safety reasons.
"I wish I could say we thought of it ourselves but the idea came from a customer," Hess told Reuters by phone. "It's an unusual gap in the market."
Naturism, or "free body culture" (FKK) as it is known in Germany, was banned by the Nazis but blossomed again after the Second World War, particularly in eastern Germany.
"There are FKK hotels where you can go into the restaurants and shops naked, for example," Hess said. "For FKK fans -- not that I'm one of them -- it's nothing unusual."
"I don't want people to get the wrong idea. It's not that we're starting a swinger club in mid-air or something like that," he added. "We're a perfectly normal holiday company."

I knew this was coming...there are businesses devoted to nudist travel including resorts, cruises, beaches, campgrounds, etc. The air was the last frontier shall we say. I dont know about you, but in my earlier years, I had explored this naturist culture and I have to tell you its not for me. I don't even like to be in my home-by myself, shades and curtains drawn, dogs outside, lights off-naked. BUT--> the first time I went to a nude beach in Miami I was quite comfortable. Perhaps it was observing an entire family-grandparents, parents, teenagers and babies- (German) playing volleyball, eating sandwiches and generally cavorting in the sand. In this venue with grandma to compare myself to, I looked like a runner up in a beauty contest. "Hey Grandma! , I'll bet my 40 D's against your 40 LONGS that I can beat you at volleyball!"

I am a "live and let live" person, and applaud this airlines ingenuity in widening their customer base. I, however, in the interest of community visual health, will keep my clothes on.

Something's Not Kosha in Boca!!!!

2008-01-27T17:19:00.000-05:00

Sad but true........Watch out boys and girls...Cooperating with Officer Friendly may not be in your best interests. I guess the best thing to do is to just tell the story and then let you decide --Kosher? or Trayf?.. All I know is that something stinks.

Sometime last year, there were a group of friends, 2 adult age and about 4 minors, at the Town Center Mall in Boca Raton. As they were walking along, 1 of the adults spotted a credit card on the ground. He picked it up, knew it was not his and invited his younger friends to "put it to good use". Well, they ALL put it to good use. Not just at that mall, but they went to different places. Everyone bought and swiped and signed and used that credit card that did not belong to ANY of them. Even though both adults knew it was wrong and the one that found it actually used it himself, they played a major part in coercing the kids to buy things for them so their involvement as adults would be minimized or in the case of one adult-non existent.

Months later, there comes a call from a Detective at the Boca PD at only the minors homes. No one is arrested or charged, but the nice Detective (AKA Officer Friendly), speaks to them as a kindly man who only wants them to cooperate and give back the items they had in their possession after telling him how it all happened and naming everone involved and their part in it. So they did-all of them-believing the Detectives claim that it would probably amount to nothing and that they were just minor players in the crime. Showing remorse and cooperation would be the best thing for them he advised. Oh, and "don't talk to the friends involved" are the parting words of this civil servants advice.

Soon thereafter, the Detective calls and says that he is no longer handling the investigation and that someone from the palm Beach County Sheriff's Office would be in contact---still no charges, no arrests, no nothing.....

Within a couple of weeks a Sheriff's Deputy calls to say that the PBCSO would be handling the investigation and that the kids would be hearing from them. Then a phone call from the Juvenile Administration center. A juvenile justive investigator needed an interview and question answer session about the incident. This is the first time that they hear the word charges, felony, midemeanor, etc. They are told they will hear from the Juvenile Justice System about court dates...they should make it a point to be home around Dec 21, 2007 to recieve their summons from a process server. What a great thing to get during the holiday break!!! "Oh, and don't talk to your friends that were involved"....more great advice.

Well, talk they did. They talked and speculated and even swallowed their self respect to approach the adults involved, only to find out that they were NOT charged at all. Their names are not even in the reports. Hmmmm....I smell something....stay with me...its going to get stronger....

The adult that found the credit card is the son of a retired Boca Raton Police Department Officer. The detective that first came to talk to these minors and encourage them to cooperate, is friends with the young adults father, having worked together 10 years for the Department. The young adult was advised to call Crimestoppers, report the crime of stolen and fraudulent card use by the minors so as to extricate himself from the incident and --get this---perhaps recieve a reward? This was told to his young ex-friends with a great deal of bravado. "I got off scott free", in his words.

When the original investigating Detective was called and asked about these alleged relationships, his reaction was one of amazement- amazed that HIS INTEGRITY was being questioned. He again reiterated the advice to cooperate fully and not to make trouble. TROUBLE? For who? His retired cop friend and his low life, fucking stereo speaker pushing salesman son?Perhaps BestBuy needs a call about who they have in their employ.I don't want to piss on anyones parade, but..as someone who was married to a police officer, they are no less human and no less vulnerable to doing a favor (read-cover up) for a friend that skirts the law.

The conclusion to this debacle will not come about for awhile, but as for whose life will be most affected by these charges? The minors--2 are in college and work 1 or more jobs. One may be deported and separated from her family and the other has been in trouble before. The 2 adults? The retired cops kid works at BestBuy and also has trouble staying out of trouble. The other one works at the same BestBuy and has mental health issues.

By now the smell of rotting pig meat should have you gagging ....thank God I don't need anything in Boca...and never have.

DeDiamond? or DeTransmission?

2008-01-14T20:25:00.000-05:00

You know how the DeBeers (Diamonds)

theme song was identified as THE song that strikes terror into the hearts of men?

Well, I can tell you that someone ought to make one for women and transmission repairs.

On the 3oth of December, I was tooling along in my 86 Mustang, when I heard a CLUNK---from underneath!!! Yes folks, UNDERNEATH!! It was 2pm and I had not had a drink yet, so it couldn't be a person under the car...the animals were inside, so it wasn't them....hmmmm. Oh well, perhaps it was the car settling, after all..it IS old.

I go to Publix for some groceries and when I come out and get ready to leave, my car will not go into reverse!! Okay, time to panic....Then, I thought: I will just drive forward all the time and not park in such a way that I have to reverse--splendid idea. Now back to the New Years Eve festivities preparations.

But wait, that is OLD thinking....NEW thinking is, take care of things as they come up and they will cost less than waiting for it to completely break down. Good thinking. Tomorrow I would take it to a transmission shop first thing.

****Just to interject. My holiday present to myself was going to be a nice piece of jewelry, most likely to include diamonds in some way shape or form. Perhaps a nice right hand ring for myself. It goes without saying that it did not happen (refer to the title of this posting).

I go to the transmission shop, Im assured that it is a minor repair and that it will be relatively inexpensive. So much so, that THEY will arrange the rental car for me and give me a call with the estimate most likely on Jan 2. Okay, I'm feeling better...I'm confident....I trust the nice man behind the counter that makes a commission from selling service to automobile owners..

On the 2d, I get a call. You guessed it, needs to be rebuilt....blah blah blah....cheapest option....blah, blah, blah....AAA discount....blah blah blah......11.1 hours labor according to Chilton blah blah blah and grand total......$1245.00.

I'm not going to go into the gruesome details, but suffice to say that I opened the only unopened bottle of champagne in the fridge at 8:30 AM and started drowning my sorrows and mourning the demise of a possible jewelry purchase. My son comes in and tells me to call a salvage yard, find my own transmission and then have them install it. What a kid---so smart. Transmission $275.00, install $389.00. Such a deal. Rental is $25.00 a day-piece of cake. I'm on my way.... more champagne to celebrate having such a smart kid...... Maybe a used diamond......?

Fast forward.....January 11, 2008....repairs completed transmission $275.00 + Labor $389.00 + Rental (10 days and gas) $545.00 = $1209.00.

Another bottle of champagne in fridge when you need it? PRICELESS

Iron Deficient? Go to Friendly's for Lunch

2008-01-03T20:47:00.000-05:00

Its a secret no longer....Friendly's offers iron boosting extra's to your midday meal. No,... no need to thank them...THEY don't even know they are doing it...

I went to lunch with my friend Libby (who is pregnant by the way and should be taking extra iron) and we both ordered salads. As she was getting to the end of her meal, she bit down on something and thought she had a problem with a tooth, but instead-out she pulls what looks like a nail, or part of an earring, or who the hell knows, but its not an ingredient commonly found in a salad--or any other entree.

So we call over the waitress, who was very nice, and asked her for the manager. Well, you would think that during a lunch time, in a restaurant that just opened the day after Christmas, that the discovery of a nail in a PREGNANT woman's salad would be cause for concern and would spur an immediate resolution.....You would think......
The manager wandered over after awhile and seemed amazed that <--this was in the salad. The waitress adds that she had made the salads. i pointed out that she assembled them, but that she did not do the prep work-hinting that they should start with questioning that individual. Well, here's the bottom line..your not gonna believe it..... The manager told Libby she would take the salad off the bill and that she could have a sundae....I was tempted to ask whether it would be a Happy Ending Sundae, but decided to just shut up. Well, the sundae took forever and then even though Libby was gracious enough to order a small kid size one so as not to appear greedy, they ended up making her some gynormous sundae that it took 2 people to eat....... So if you find yourself to be mineral deficient in any respect, I recommend going to Friendly's. If you are low in folic acid, you might find a hair follicle in your food, or say you could boost your zinc intake to ward off colds,a thoughtful kitchen employee might drop a half eaten cough drop in your soup, calcium deficient? who knows what awaits you.....at Friendly's- Home of the Happy Ending

If You Give Irene An Empanada......

2008-01-02T20:53:00.000-05:00

There is a kids story called, "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie"....in short the story is about a mouse that gets a cookie and then he'll need some milk, and then he'll ask for a straw and yada yada yada (if you are that intrigued, go to this elementary schools powerpoint presentation and get your jollies).

This story is called "If You Give Irene An Empanada". Before we get started, let me introduce you to Irene----->

I have known Irene for about 5 years or so now. I work with her, I play with her, she is a great person and truly cares about the kids at our school..but most importantly, Irene likes to have a good time.....sound familiar? Remember the simulated pole dancing I did? I was not alone, folks......Yup, you guessed it, my friend Irene was part of those festivities as well.

Well, this is not about pole dancing, or drinking, -ok maybe a bit about drinking-but no dancing!!! Its about Irene's year long request to come to her house, see her new interior decor and of course---make empanadas. As much as I wanted to do all these things, life got in the way and the great opportunity came up during this 2 week winter break from school. Today was the day--hooray, I say, empanadas are on the way...shit, that sounds like Dr. Seuss...

To make the day extra special, Irene had a good friend of hers over- Gabi- from Israel. She is a lovely woman and I hope to spend more time with her in the future. And last but not least, Marian, my team teacher, friend and Irenes good friend as well, was in the house. All the makings for a day of trouble....... Gabi-->

Now for some background knowledge ( its the teacher in me): What the heck are empanadas and why does Irene love em?

Empanadas are kind of like turnovers filled with whatever you like. In our case, what we like is seasoned meat lovingly folded into a flaky circle of dough and then sealed and baked in an oven til they look
like this--> If the description does not sell you on these babies, then one bite and then another and then another until you wonder, "How many have I eaten?

This is exactly what happens...Irene starts reminiscing about the Empanadas her Argentinean friend Irene's mom used to make and then I get the idea to make some for her and then we get the idea to make them at school and then it becomes, lets have the students make them and sell them to support our program and they are a success, but then Irene says I want some for home and there is never enough for her.......sooooo......Annette, lets make empanadas at MY house!!!! See how it starts?

So I came over, got the grand tour, loved what she had done with her place (it really reflects Irene-but then you GOTTA know her to know what Im talking about) and on to the important stuff---wine and uh, uh...oh yeah empanadas!!!

We cut chopped, stirred,sauced, tasted, threw in the all important "monkey dust" and presto change-o we were ready for the all important assembly part. Veeerrry important.... Necessitates MORE wine and conversation to make it taste good. The more gossip, dirt and girly advice the better....Irene and Marian drank and talked to us and Gabi and I stuffed and pressed the edges of the empanadas...oh...and we drank and talked as well, just probably not as much... :)

Then they go in the oven....vvveeerrryyy important...25 more minutes of talking and drinking...no one wants to watch the oven...the empanadas wont taste as good if you hover over them. Finally, the bell rings...empanadas are done!!!! Dont rush, pull them outta the oven and let them sit and cool---or-you guessed it...they wont taste as good. Hey, have you done this before?!?!?

Time to eat.....everyone takes one or two...at first...the are so easy to eat...warm and flaky....no one is pointing fingers, but now...there is not talking or drinking...cuz if you do----They wont taste as good!!!!!!!!!

Empanada recipe is offered to those that would like to experience this delicious and severely addicting comfort food. The dough can be bought premade, very inexpensively and the wine is not a requirement, but the friends are......Enjoy.....

Feliz Ano Nuevo!!!! Happy New Year

2008-01-01T12:01:00.000-05:00

And its about time too...2007 was about to kill me. New Year and New Luck--not that Im superstitious or anything, but I did throw a basin of water out the front door and ate 12 grapes at midnight as dictated in the Cubanaso handbook.

Having 12 grapes one for each month of the year in the New Years Eve night is customary to the Cuban people. This is also said to shower good luck and blessings to the household. Another unique New Year tradition popular among the Cuban people is to dress up and walk around the house on New Years Day carrying an empty suitcase. This believed to usher in frequent travels and tours in the ensuing year.

There is a family tradition to open both the front door and the back door at midnight of New Years Eve. The Back Door is left opened to Let out the Old Year and the Front Door is opened to welcome the New Year bringing good luck and cheer to the whole family.

Hey, pretty strange goings on in a Cuban household, but i wouldn't have it any other way!!!!

I went out last night to meet some friends at a local dive not far from home. I get so paranoid about drunks on New Years Eve that I left the house at 11:30 and returned home at 12:30. Enough time to get a buzz, drink cheap champagne and kiss complete strangers at midnight. (And some people have the nerve to say that I dont know how to have a good time :/ )

Prosper Ano Nuevo, y'all

The End of Another Stellar Year...

2007-12-31T19:53:00.000-05:00

Well this about sums it up, doesn't it? I don't think this is what mom meant when she reminded you to wear your hat and scarf as you left. In this case, Im sure it saved him from complete humiliation. How would you like to see THAT when the office party pics come out...yeah, not laughing now are you?

Im sure that my pole dancing exploits at a local Duffys during our office Christmas party has been preserved for posterity if not blackmail on some nice co-workers camera. Too many Dirty Martinis, I guess. That'll teach me :)

Fortunately, I did not have as much Christmas cheer as the Super Sauced Santa above, and good thing, cuz i was notwearing a hat...just a set of candy cane reindeer antlers perched pretty precariously on my melon. I could not disguise a thing in those babies..... Now if I can just get through New Years....have a safe and sane New Years celebration.....and dont end up on the front page of the paper OR in the obits, ok?

If Only Life Could Be Like My Car....

2007-12-30T22:06:00.000-05:00

I am the proud owner of a 1986 Mustang convertible. i like it, i like driving it, (i especially like not making car payments), and I suppose that all things being equal, anytime it needs a repair i justify it by calculating how many car payments that would have been....hmmmm..

However, today my car did something i wish I could do. It would only stand still (park) or idle (neutral) or go into drive, overdrive(D, D1 and D2 respectively) but it would not reverse. Not a bad thing philosophically speaking.

So, upon realizing that I would again have to face making car repairs (and perhaps expensive ones), I did go in reverse. I immediately decided that it was time for a drink. Now, you must be thinking that im a complete wuss and that something like a car repair will send me running for the bottle, but this is not so folks; I have faced and endured many a trial in my almost 50 years and to my credit, I still see the good in things as opposed to the bad.

To the folks that don't know me, alcohol was always my first defense to deal with problems, people and later social anxiety, so for me to want a drink today was definitely to go in "reverse". But, its not that bad- i still count my blessings every day.... I think today was just the culmination of a "series of unfortunate events" including my dad having a stroke that made the thought of a stiff drink---THE thing I wanted at that moment. So I did....and I felt better. So much better that when my friend Joe called and suggested we go to Friendly's for dinner, I smiled because I knew that at the end of dinner, my day would have a "Happy Ending".

Is Friendly's Being OVERLY Friendly?

2007-12-22T06:38:00.000-05:00

Last Wednesday a friend phoned me and asked if I'd like to have dinner. I dont't normally go out to dinner on a weeknight, but what the hell. He suggested Friendly's which he thought had JUST opened up by us. We toodle on over there and we see lots of people inside, so we think its open for business...well, they were not. They were training and while there HAVE been instances of restaurants serving you so that their staff can practice, these folks were not doing it. The manager explained that they would be open the day after Christmas and placed coupon books in our hands as an enticement to return at that time.

As we meandered back to the car, wondering; "Now where do we go to eat?", I flip through the coupon book and about choke laughing. The first coupon is for a "Happy Ending Size Sundae"....WOOOHOO. I immediately went back and asked for more coupon books for my extended family and went home to place them in every male friends Christmas card. Nope, no need to thank me...I think everyone should have a Happy Ending, I just have a hard time envisioning Friendly's giving me one. But hey, its almost 2008, and I AM a modern type gal.

Before we left, the manager was coming out to have a cigarette and I asked him about that wording. He seemed perplexed that it would be a concern...perhaps he was just playing dumb. Can you imagine how many men would love to go to dinner with their families and then ,when done, quite comfortably ask for a "Happy Ending"?

Love it!!!!

I'd Like My Martini Extra Dirty, Please.....

2007-12-21T21:37:00.000-05:00

Until now, the only thing I had to worry about was that I DID get olives in my Martini. It turns out that I also have to decide whether my olives are 'placed' or 'thrown." PLACED? THROWN? What the hell does that mean and why is it interfering with one of the last socially acceptable pre-dinner activities of the modern world?

I searched high and low for an answer, but to no avail. I also could not find a picture of a jar of placed or thrown olives. Just take my word for it--they exist. Go to a grocery store and go to the olive section. The spanish olives (green with the pimento, for example) are in jars and are labeled either thrown or placed.

Finally, I asked an olive expert(also known as a buyer) from the deepest darkest caverns of the Publix Distribution Headquarters in Lakeland, Florida. Are you ready for what that means? Get ready...this is going to be very difficult to understand:

**Placed olives are "placed" in the jar by hand, so they face out and look pretty. PRETTY!!!!
**Thrown olives are "thrown" in the jar or more likely machine packed.

Placed or thrown? Look at the jar...if you can tell the difference, you are a better person than I--or even Martha Stewart, I bet.......
As for me? After the second Martini, I couldn't care less where they "place" me OR "throw" me.

PLACED VS THROWN--> Now you HAVE a choice

Get Your Balls Out of Your Wife's Purse-Part II

2007-12-08T21:22:00.000-05:00

Okay, I felt significantly better after that last post. I could regale you with other examples of supreme stupidity on this couples part, but why spend the energy? Well, okay....maybe one more instance of inequality in the treatment of ones children....

Back when my son was in middle school, my ex-husband approached my with the idea of getting my son braces (he did not need them accoeding to his dentist), the pitch was that I would pay for half. T understand the stupidity of this idea, let me lay some groundwork. The husband is a police officer over 10 years, the wife is a school teacher. I am the sole supporter of my family, working full time and going to school full time to BECOME a teacher. You follow me? When I explained that not only did Patrick not need braces, I could not afford to pay for them and in addition there was a little detail they had forgotten: Dad was responsible for health and dentist care.....Instead, what I got was a dissertation on what an awful mother I was, yada yada yada ad nauseaum.....

Well, he did not get braces....I didn't fall into their guilt trap and everyone turned out just fine.....

I think my son has gotten over it and even threwa party at their house for his spearfishing club. Its the least they could do for being such idiots........

In my next life, Im going to have that asshole magnet removed from my forehead....

Get Your Balls Out of Your Wife's Purse - Part I

2007-12-04T19:15:00.000-05:00

<--The Ex's Wife

That's right folks, I said it...and If I need to, I will say it to him: the ex-husband...the father of my son...

I have never wanted to go back in time and I have not regretted much about my life, especially since other than grow and be a better person, there is nothing I can do to change the past. Everyone makes mistakes and I have made more than my share. My children are the best thing in my life. They are kind, compassionate, caring, creative and strive to do the right thing

My son who is 25, and a good person...who has more care and compassion for other people in his little pinkie than his father has in his whole body, deserves better treatment. He is being treated like a red-headed stepchild (well, I guess he is- to the wicked step-monster). My ex-husband has 2 more children with his wife (in fact thats the reason we divorced- but thats another rant) and although I have made every effort over his lifetime to live close by (usually about 1 mile away and yikes-sometimes closer) so he could spend time with his Dad, as they all got older, it is painfully obvious to my son that he does not share in the same financial perks that his half brother and sister do. However, he is expected to spend Fathers day and Mothers Day, Thanksgiving and other family times whenever its called for over there. In the name of peace and harmony, I have always acquiesced and have not made a big deal over it, even though the reality is that I have always been the one to help him out of jams, listen to him, advise him and generally support him in his endeavors.

Perhaps I am personalizing this because i made sacrifices to smooth the way for him and it was for naught. he is feeling the disparity, I am feeling cheated again. I feel like telling my son to forget about them and just stay away, but it wouldn't be right. I would be telling him what I would do---and how well has that really served me? I want to let him know that Im proud of him for doing the right thing, hustling to make ends meet and making his way in the world even though other people are dicks.

Lets take a break for a moment for some levity before I become emotional and lose sight of the message here:

Some Holiday Gift Suggestions for the Ex's New Wife

A pendant and matching earrings

OR--For the rugged "you wont be needed THOSE anymore" kinda gal....perhaps a truck accessory would be more appropriate.....

in any case..there's a plethora of appropriate gifts this season---and dont forget: "They're Fun For the Whole Family"!

Hmmm, well, I feel alot better, but I need to get to sleep. Blogging and that shot of liquid courage helped me, but you know the problem will still be there in the morning---so look for Part II- The Case of the Braces Budget

Night Night....

Thanksgiving Leftovers

2007-11-30T05:33:00.002-05:00

This week marked the beginning of the holiday craziness. Notice, I did not even mention Black Friday(I'm not crazy about that name). I did notice that in some stores, the Halloween, Thanksgiving AND Christmas stuff was on display simultaneously. This does not work well for me as a person who depends on store displays to remind her what season and holiday is currently occurring. I saw Christmas stuff in October and panicked...shit, where the hell did time go? I have not prepared (which by the way, apparently is my mantra) and again, thought I got caught with my pants down.

The nicest thing about the After-Thanksgiving school break is that the kids at my school have had ( and will continue to have until Dec 7th) the incredible opportunity to meet and work with a gentleman who in terms of a disability defies the odds and truly has inspired them to greatness. He is Sidiki Conde from Guinea, 46 years old and was struck by polio at the age of 14, rendering his legs useless. Instead of succumbing to the disability, he intensified his efforts to meet and surpass his own expectations. He performs with a group dancing, drumming and singing. He is amazing to watch and truly has the heart and patience I aspire to. I took some video of he and the kids during their rehearsal yesterday. They have been rehearsing this week and will continue next week in preparation for a Holiday Showcase at the Duncan Theatre on the Palm Beach Community college Campus, Saturday December 8th. Here is a video clip of their afternoon yesterday (look for more in the future!) and an audio clip of one of Sidiki's songs to his mother

Missing In Action

2007-11-18T10:13:00.000-05:00

It has been a busy 2 months. This blog has been on my mind, but due to about a dozen unforeseen circumstances (when it rains it pours), I have been pretty exhausted. This evening will mark the return of moi to regular online posting. Expect to see some emotional family stuff, some mea culpa's I never thought I would even ponder, more man stuff (adventures in dating is what I prefer to call it) and some exciting prospects coming up in my quest to get published.

I need someone in my life....for the fun things – 58

2007-09-22T10:29:00.000-04:00

THAT is the title of the personal ad referenced below

Hello ladies. Hear me out. I'm just a normal, hispanic male, professionally employed, fun to be with, love to laugh, and enjoy life. I'm looking for a woman of like mindedness. I have lots of love to give, and am fun to hug, kiss, laugh with, and I can hold an intelligent conversation, on just about anything........let's talk..

(as posted on Craigslist in West Palm Beach, Florida)

Just when you think that you have the skills necessary to read between the lines of a personal ad and dismiss all that are cheesy, dishonest, looking for supermodels or a slaves, comes a new breed of ad. This ad does not mention marital status. Not a word to indicate whether the author is single, separated, divorced,or widowed. We only know that he is alive, that he has internet access and is probably familiar with match.com, craigslist, plentyoffish.com or eharmony (who by the way, after 2 attempts to submit a completed profile, informed me that there is not anyone in the universe they could match me up with). As an individual in the education field, I would even compromise on the spelling aspect, just to find Mr. Right.

Please refer to the ad at the beginning of this article. Sounds pretty good, huh? I’m a 49 year old woman, professional, love to have fun AND Hispanic. A match made in heaven-or at least a pretty good start. I don’t come across ads like this often, so I decided to contact this person. I immediately received a response with a thank you and a picture with an invitation to call him and remit a picture of myself if I was so inclined. Well, I was so inclined and proceeded to scan my miniscule stash of pictures on my hardrive for the most accurate representation of myself and replied with 2 pictures, my cell phone number and invite to call me sometime as well.

The next day, while I was at work, I received a phone call from-lets call him Henry-and we chatted a bit. At the end of the conversation he asked me what I was “looking for”. I felt like a john calling an escort service and responding to a code phrase designed to avoid the appearance of solicitation. I responded that I was looking for people to meet, get to know, become friends with and ultimately marry at some point down the road. He seemed to understand and apparently was not scared off because he asked if he could call me later. I was thinking I could be on to something here. The conversation did not culminate in an urgency to meet, but rather more conversation. Could it be that there was someone out there just as cautious as I was?

In the evening, I received another phone call from Henry (how did I know?-I had already optimistically saved his number and name in my contacts, silly). We chatted a bit more and we talked about our kids and pets and agreed that we would continue to communicate on the phone a bit longer and think about a meeting for coffee perhaps in the future. Again, he asked me what am I looking for ( I swear I was thinking if he asks me again im going to think he is mentally disabled or just plain stupid) Oh, happy day! I was already planning where to go and what to wear. Could he call me tomorrow during my lunch break? Absolutely, I replied, need you ask?

Tomorrow comes and no phone call at lunch, no phone call in the evening. The day after that , no phone call at lunch and then an email in the evening asking if I received his message. I jump to my phone and listen to my voice mails. Nothing there. I check my text messages and there it is. “Will u c me if im married?”. I couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry. As I absorbed what this meant, I started rehearsing my time worn, indignant how dare-you speech. I even entertained the thought of agreeing to see him and using him for financial gain and good times before cutting him loose-just to teach him a lesson of course.
While I was playing all these scenarios out in my head, I receive a voicemail (having missed the call). He was apologizing for not telling me he was married and hoped that it would not be a barrier to me seeing him. A barrier? A barrier? Marriage to another person is a barrier? What a jerk… I went to my computer and sent him an email: “I received your messages and would like to have a conversation with you. Please call when you get a chance”. About 10 minutes later, the phone rings. He must have thought that if I wanted to talk, that on some level, I was considering a relationship with him. Well, I was not, but instead of laying into him on the phone and that being the end of the story, I decided to make him think a bit and perhaps feel foolish and as an added bonus, perhaps dishonest and dishonorable as well.

I reviewed with him his personal ad. Not a mention of marital status. Most people lead with that since it is a selling point and immediately helps you decide whether you are interested in dealing with a divorced man that has kids, or a widower who just lost a spouse, etc. But not this guy, nope, not Mr. Wonderful. He looking for fun, and you should be too!! Fuddy duddys need not apply is the implication behind the headline and ad. He commented that his ad was quite clear regarding his status. Clear? I pressed on and asked what the purpose of asking me what I was looking for was, if he knowingly could not provide it. Silence. Did he think that I was a woman who deserved less than what I was looking for? Is there a reason why he felt it was not important to disclose the fact that he was married, if not in the ad, than certainly in the first email or god forbid the first phone conversation? Again, my querys were met with silence and then some comment about how some women don’t mind a man being married. Instead of beating a dead horse and going round and round with this guy, I finally told him that it was against my values to romantically entangle myself with a married man as much for my own benefit as well as his wife’s, who by the way, I was rapidly feeling sorry for. We ended the phone call with him telling me he respected my decision and that it had been a pleasure talking with me. I wished him luck in all his endeavors (a saying my best friend always ends our conversations with when there is nothing left to say) and hung up.

I wake up the next morning and have a voicemail waiting. “Good morning Annette, Im calling to let you know that perhaps we could still meet for that cup of coffee and be friends because you know you can never have too many friends”…. Sincere? Or just another manipulation….hmmm. Response on my part? Silence.

I'mmmmm baack.....

2007-09-20T19:10:00.000-04:00

Like Randy Travis sings. "You've been too gone, for too long, don't even put your suitcase down...".

I can assure you that my time away has been well spent. The remainder of my recovery was such that i was up and about and didn't have time to sit and blog. Good for me and perhaps-some would say...good thing :)

I spent about 3 weeks resting and getting situated. Probably more time resting than situating

The Unhappy Knee: A Social Story

2007-07-24T23:07:00.000-04:00

Well folks, as you can see, the left knee is unhappy. The right knee wants to make it smile. The left knee is not having any part of it. The right knee says, "Come on, lets go dancing. I'll even let you lead" . Instead it wants to wallow in self pity and maybe a martini or two intermittently wailing "Why me?" between sips....

The good news--> the visit to the doctor went well. She got all the wire out except for a piece that is behind my knee-ouch and that she says she tried to get, but just could not. Unless it causes a problem, surgery to remove it is a high risk deal because of artery, veins and other encumbrances.

Bad news--> The stitches stay in and I return next Wednesday morning. At which time i will be moved into my new first story digs and able to devote myself to physical therapy and the business of getting better.

Ah--There they are!!!!

2007-07-23T22:54:00.000-04:00

Its not a great picture,(my camera is MIA and I had to use a webcam) but you get the idea. The high heeled, 1940's bedroom diva accessory. the only thing missing is a long cigarette holder and a maribou trimmed peignoir- but Im working on it.....
Im not one to enjoy sitting still for any amount of time, so I am dividing my time between deciding what to pitch as I scale back possessions and then elevating and icing the leg. Tomorrow, i see the doc, I have an 8" scar (I peeked) with about a jillion staples). Im going to need some liqid courage before I let her loose with those staple removers. She might need something as well-like earplugs.

where are my red patent leather bedroom mules with the frou frou on the tops?

2007-07-22T22:20:00.000-04:00

Well...I will be brief...I feel a bit better today. Im getting around, and Im starting to feel bored ( all good signs). I have not been taking pain pills and would really like a drink, but I will be good and just relax, JUST in case I do need a pain pill later.
I have been in my closet...perusing the shoes....trying to decide....what to do?........
I think Ill pack something (Im moving) and perhaps something will come to me...an idea, a glass of wine, a martini, or perhaps the name of a medical malpractice attorney, who knows?

Can Flip Flops be considered evening wear?

2007-07-21T17:08:00.000-04:00

There it is folks.....The "thing". I think I would rather have this on rather than see whats underneath. Tuesday morning I will see the doc and the drama will start all over again (her words. not mine).
Today has been better in the pain department, Im still not hungry (couldnt i stand to lose a few pounds?) and I dont dread those trips to the bathroom as much...Im hoping that this recovery will be significantly better than the one 8 years ago. I will definitely be better about the physical therapy.....
As bad as I look, a friend decided to brave the site of me and picked up some soup for lunch and spent some time with me. I do not recommend doing this until I shower, since I am getting pretty ripe. Lulu is at the Warp tour in Miami and made me swear to wait til she got home---not a problem, there is a lot involved including trash bags and duct tape. (If I work it right, I could get a bikini wax with every shower) okay never mind, I must be feeling better--that sense of humor is coming back.....

The worst is over....or is it?

2007-07-20T21:00:00.000-04:00

Its been almost 24 hours since I have been home. Patrick picked me up and filled my pain medication scrip before helping me upstairs. The whole thing is a bit fuzzy. I have this huge immobilizer on my leg with a lunch cooler with a trolling motor in it that constantly circulates ice water under the bandages. Pretty neat trick--why didnt I think of it? I have Percoset for pain. I thought the stuff would knock me out, but instead, I wake up every 10 minutes. Its pretty annoying, making this the longest 24 hours of my life. Im also very very thirsty, but the more I drink, the more I have to pee and of course that imvolves unhooking myself from this virtual life support system and making it to the bathroom before I pee...its all very depressing.
Lauren is going out til Satuday night and I welcome that because I really dont like having people feeling like they cant leave me alone. I did send her to the store with a list :)
4 bags ice, 4 2liters of diet ginger ale, bath tissue and a newspaper ( i think i covered all the essentials). Well, just a brief update....til tomorrow

I have run out of excuses....

2007-07-19T16:30:00.000-04:00

Todays the day..Yesterday I was looking for any excuse to have to put off the surgery. Examples: I have asthma, I have a cold, can't find my living will, no ride to the Surgicenter, etc. All lame and useless...What can I say? I am a pain weenie, always have been. Even though I was in pain at the moment, I also knew that the after pain was going to be the worst.
I have kept myself busy to avoid thinking of the inevitable and performing self therapy (is that a word?), talking to myself and reminding myself that I have always been tough and daring, willing to go here no man has gone before, yadda yadda yadda and swearing not to act like a wimp as I got older (something I do not admire in others).
So....my cab is here (I really did not have a way there) and I will be back in touch as soon as I am able......

Will I Dance Again?

2007-07-18T22:34:00.000-04:00

You know, I think the universe must be conspiring to keep me from entering "So You Think You Can Dance"...This morning I woke up with a congested upper chest (stop-I know what your thinking) and some kind of productive coughing---but all in all, feeling like shit. I slogged through the day, finally acceepting the fact that I was going to go through this whole ordeal again---alone. yes folks, alone...long story but if you are interested i'll tell ya... My surgery is not scheduled until 3PM. I have to meet with the anesthesioligist an dhope that he can do it, if not I have to wait til Tues AND have another Pre-OP clearance---JOY...of curse at my expense.
Im sensing pessimism on my part and do not wish to engage, so i will stop now, have a glass of wine before my 12 midnight cut off time and relax.....more tomorrow

Just when you thought it was safe to get back on stilettos....

2007-07-17T22:43:00.000-04:00

Christmas time 1999, I fell and broke my kneecap. It was traumatic, painful, a slow recovery and left me with an ugly scar that time has thankfully made less red and raw. leading the life that I had up to this point, I can honestly say that if that was as bas as it got at age 41, I was darn lucky and should not complain.
After 7 years or so of not wearing high heels due to this painful extended recovery period,, I had amassed quite a collection of sexy high heeled shoes that I knew I was destined to wear again. Crimson, olive tones, black, tans...every color of the rainbow...purchased and lovinglykept in see thru shoe boxes which would make it easier for me to choose which ones to wear---when I could do so again. I would wear them with jeans, pants, dresses and maybe with lingerie---who knows? But I WOULD wear them again. My daughter looked at them and thought I was crazy, but I didnt care. I would buy, save and wear--one day...
And I did----2 weeks ago-----I met a gentleman who liked Karaoke. Well, I cant sing (that would be "scaraoke"), so while I accompanied him, I did not sing, but instead I spent those nights dancing in my heels to the songs that people with varying degrees of talent belted out.
I had a great time....the best in 7 years....
On July 10, 2007, I am at work (Im a teacher) and upon attempting to get up from my desk, I cried out in pain and sat back down. I could not believe that sound came from me. Even my students were scared...and trust me, not much scares them. The consensus from everyone from the school nurse to the custodian was that I should go to the nearest hospital. So I did....
Well, imagine my surprise ( a bit of sarcasm here) when i view these xrays and lo and behold, the wiring around the kneecap has not only come undone, but a piece has broken off and lodged itself in my knee joint, hence the pain when I tried to straighten my leg. While I stare in amazement at these xrays, the doctors are telling me it needs to be taken care of immediately. Of course the 2 doctors that did the surgery almost 8 years ago, are on vacation. Me? Iim working summer school in order to be able to take a vacation. I got a a crash course in hospital politics. It seems that if the original doctor is not affiliated with the hospital , he is not obligated to see me and on the other hand, the orthopedic doctor on cal at the time in the ER, did not want to deal with fixing another doctors surgery. that leaves the patient in limbo and cranks up the pissed off factor---in addition to fondling the yellow pages in the area of "medical malpractice attorneys". Okay, so i was fantasizing, but it made me feel good.